War Was Only the Stuff of My Boring Textbooks Before Air Strikes

Before the IAF air-strikes, the anti-war poem ‘After Blenheim’ was just another chapter being tested in my Boards.

I plead you, India, before we take any further action, think of the destruction it could cause.

(Photo: Erum Gour/The Quint)

On 26 February, I had woken up at 3:47 am to study for my board exams. I had fourteen chapters left, and less than six hours to study. At that time, I thought the worst thing in the world was the fact that we'd been given half a day to study for our Hindi board exam. Little did I know that less than 750 kilometres from my home, India was wrecking havoc in the Jaish-e-Mohammad encampment.

I recently did a Model UN conference Indo-Pak War of 1971. I spent hours watching ISIS documentaries, wondering how people lived in a war-torn nation, and even wanted to visit Syria. I thought that by reading a few heartbreaking stories by Khaled Hosseini, I had become strong enough to face war and death. Boy, was I wrong.

After returning from my exam, as I happily watched One Tree Hill, my mother dropped the news that India had launched airstrikes on Pakistan. Like any typical teenager, I dropped everything and opened my Instagram. Everyone's stories were full of IAF airstrike related memes, appreciation for soldiers and happiness.

I, however, was far from happy. Who am I kidding? I was TERRIFIED and close to bursting into tears. I immediately texted my best friend, and typed “we are all going to die” followed by “this is it”. 

I was scared. I still am. I thought to myself that it wasn’t long before our country would transform from one that makes memes about ‘How’s the josh?’ to actually being war-torn. Less that 24 hours ago, the anti-war poem ‘After Blenheim’ was just another chapter being tested in my Boards, war confined to my textbooks. But now, its theme had a much greater significance in my life than just something I had to ratta (mug up).

I'm scared that in the middle of my exam, things could escalate between the two nations. I'm scared for my father who was to fly back to India from Frankfurt the next day. I'm scared for my grandparents, who make regular trips to the market for vegetables.

I'm scared that problems in my life will be much harder to digest than the fact that Peter Kavinsky is just a fictional character! I'm scared every time I hear a plane, thinking it’s a fighter jet. Now I'm not saying it wasn't justified to avenge the Pulwama attack. I'm proud that we did. All I’m saying is that I’m terrified about what can happen next.

Could there be a possibility of a war between two nuclear powers? What will happen to my studies then? My badminton? My music? my writing? My friends and family? My dreams? My life?

I'm just fifteen and I worry that life will change. So all I'm asking for, before we as a nation take any more actions, is that we think about the consequences they can have. I don’t want to be writing this after something much worse than fighter jets being shot down.

I plead you, India, before we take any further action, think of the destruction, the fear, the violence it can cause. Think of those thousands of army men that could lose their lives in the process; think of the pilot who was taken into Pakistan’s custody.

(The author is a tenth grade student at The Shri Ram School, and a national level Badminton player.)

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