Of Kindness: How Often Do You Talk to the Person Who Serves You?

How my simple conversation with a female security guard turned both our days around.

Have you ever said more than a ‘hi’ or a cursory ‘namaste’ to the person who greets you at the door of a mall?

Perhaps you have. Perhaps you’ve smiled and exchanged a few more sentences.

But it isn’t common. And that’s what I’ve lately set out to change.

I’ve been determining myself to greet people everywhere I go – the housekeeping staff at malls and cinema halls, the security staff at an airport, or a cab driver who drops me home. I’ve been looking for conversations.

I had a particularly interesting one last year...

I remember this young girl, selling junk jewellery at her small shop in Orchha (a quiet town in MP) last year. I stopped to buy some stuff from her – and during the course of the transaction, started a conversation. I asked her about her family, her education, etc., etc.

And then, just as my daughter and I were leaving, she stopped us and tied little bracelets on our wrists. I remember telling my daughter that day that a little love and attention will go a long way in life.

The Conversation That Turned my Day Around

Last evening, I walked into a mall in Noida.

I came across this lady guard and noticed that she was either tired or sad or unwell. I said – “Namaste, Kaisi hain aap? (Hello, How are you?) She replied simply with a “Theek hoon, madam (I am fine, madam).

But I insisted. “Aap theek lag nahi rahi. Kya hua, thak gayi hai kya? ( You don’t seem to be fine. Are you tired?) And to my consternation, tears began to roll down her eyes. What she said next struck me hard:

“Pata hai madam, subah se bahut pareshaan hoon, ro rahi hoon. Aap woh peli ho jisne mujhse theek se baat ki aur mujhe achcha feel karwaya.” (Do you know, madam, I’ve been upset since this morning, have been crying at intervals, but you’re the first one who’s asked me if I’m okay. You’re the first to make me feel better.)

She looked Bengali to me and a question put to her confirmed that I was right.

So I attempted to talk to her in my horribly broken Bengali (I’d picked up some in 2001-2002 when working for sitar maestro Pandit Ravi Shankar). Within five minutes, she looked better than before. I gave her a hug, didn’t press further for reasons, but told her that even though I didn’t know why she was crying, she would surely be okay.

We parted with a smile, both on my face and hers.

As I left, I wondered – how long did this conversation take?

It had taken me all of five minutes to add a zing to two lives that day – mine and hers.

Wasn’t it worth it?

Wouldn’t it be worth it to look up from the mobile phones and laptop screens once in a while to look at the people around us? To smile a smile, talk a little talk?

If nothing else, you’ll learn a little something you never knew before. AND it’s good karma!

(Richa Anirudh is a former journalist at IBN7. She currently hosts Dilli Meri Jaan on 92.7 BIG FM. She also publishes a magazine for school students, called ‘School LIVE’.)