This Mother’s Day, Here’s Looking at You Maa

Going through my mother’s photos from when she was young made her less Superwoman and more human for me.

A few weeks ago I found an old, faded photograph of my mother. Strangely, I did not quite recognise the woman I was looking at. She was young, shy in a very coy way, jumping down a small rock, relaxed and so...not maa.

I asked my father to send some more pictures of her and spent a few hours just looking at her. A photo stood out.

People always said I take after her, but I never put much thought into it. But in this photo of her, when she was not too young and not too old, and the stresses hadn’t quite creeped in, I can see myself clearly. We have the exact same eyes. Looking at the photo feels surreal after a while.

I also chose this photo because I don’t remember the last time she smiled like this for one. She’s laid-back, sunny and she even kept her hair open, which she stopped doing more than ten years ago because it ‘looked untidy’. Needless to say, since then she’s toughened up and also aged. She’s broken many glass ceilings in the last two decades as an officer in the Indian Railways and has been an indispensable wife and mother.

Her eyes drew me in. I may not know the woman she was before she had me, but I instantly recognised the woman who would raise me to become the woman I am.

Days like Mother’s Day have a way of making us spare a moment from our lives to think about people so fundamental to our existence, that we sometimes forget to notice. We, at The Quint asked our readers to send in one photograph of their mom from when she was younger which stood out for them and share the story behind it to celebrate the phenomenal women they were and have become.

Like many girls of her generation, Arun Nair’s mother got married at twenty-one to a man she had never met before. She began her married life with 'simple' expectations: "I'm going to have kids. I'm going to be the best mother and homemaker in the world". She's been doing that for 44 years now, “with the efficiency of a world class logistics manager and the devotion that only a mother can bring,” testifies Arun.

In this picture, my father and mother can be seen in one of the corners of Humayun’s Tomb in New Delhi, barely a year into their marriage (1974). She has and will always remain the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. If I had to caption this picture, I’d have to borrow from Disney’s Beauty and the Beast.

Arun Nair 

Garima Poonia thought her mom always had short hair. Until she found this picture of her with beautiful, long hair just like she wanted growing up. She wondered what happened.

Garima recently got her hair chopped off. For her, it was a liberating choice but coming across the photo made her realise her mother didn't have one. After a strenuous labour and complicated delivery, she had become weak. He hair had begun falling; everyday in the shower, every time she ran her hand through them.“She couldn't take care of me and manage her hair, so she decided to cut them off.”

This picture is from her honeymoon. It’s one of the rare photos where my mother is really laughing. Eyes crinkled, wide smile, teeth showing, hands splayed; she looks carefree. I’ve not known this mother. I only know her through pictures. Is this what motherhood means?

Garima Poonia 

Meghna Chaudhury’s mother was raised in a very protective, traditional household, as most of our mothers were. She was raised with orthodox ideas of how women are supposed to be and that was her entire worldview. She diligently lived according to society’s expectations.

I identify myself as a feminist. Over the years, my mom, this beautiful lady, has not only begun to understand what I am trying to say, I’ve seen her change. She didn’t know she was already being a feminist when she wore pants in the picture, way ahead of its time. She’s fought the battles, without knowing she was fighting one! She always has cared about what people think. It is very hard to let go of your conditioning. But she does. It’s very inspiring.

Meghna Chaudhury

For Anurit Kanti, it was a trendy sepia-toned picture of his mother which caught his eye. She’s dressed in a casual white T-shirt, retro white earrings, oversized sunglasses and a perfect smile. He barely recognised her, and yet seeing her smile without a single care was a simple form of catharsis for him.

This photograph was clicked in Algeria, on top of a hill where a ropeway needed to be climbed to reach the top. I simply can’t imagine my mother doing that. This is a very liberated, confident version of my mother. She looks adventurous and unburdened in a way she isn’t now. Seeing her like this makes me so happy.

Anurit Kanti

Aviral Virk came across this photograph of her mother taken at a park in Dhaula Kuan when she gone for a picnic with her parents and two college friends. Her mother is sitting cross-legged with a ear-to-ear smile, almost suppressing a cheeky laugh, eyes closed and with her sandals in her hands above her head. It’s the playfulness of the photo that draws you in and holds you, like you’ll be let in on an inside joke any minute.

She was sitting on that rock which was a little bit of a climb over other rocks. One of her friends asked her if she was meditating and if she would get her picture taken. She said okay and offered to strike a pose, which her dad clicked. She says she was a rebel without a cause. She was rebelling against everything. Yet she was aimless, purposeless.

Aviral Virk 

Shaleen Wadhwana’s mother got married when she was 24. In her initial years as a wife, she stayed in a small town of Madhya Pradesh, miles apart from her urban life in Delhi. As the children grew up and time passed, she explored more avenues of her leadership skills and charitable leanings. The photo marks the start of her mother’s journey from being a timid woman of 24 to a well-respected businesswoman and philanthropist all while giving Shaleen the best life she could.

When I see this photo, I see a young woman entering into a unchartered territory and eventually thriving on a risk higher than any entrepreneur could take today. I have seen her gain more confidence, pay more attention towards her health and fitness and tending to her first love of gardening. She has grown into a new person.

Shaleen Wadhwana

Looking through old photos of my mother, I felt nostalgia for happier times in which I didn’t even exist; intrigue about her, so different from the woman I know; a connection when I saw a resemblance and confusion when I didn’t.

But mostly, it made her more of her own person, outside of being my family’s absolute rock. So, on this Mother’s Day, here’s looking at you, maa.