How Does a Female Tourist Deal With Harassment Around the World?

No matter where you are in the world, you may need to fight sexual harassment, writes this gutsy female tourist.

If there’s one thing I’ve discovered in all my travels and travails, it’s that a ‘language barrier’ is really no deterrent to harassing someone...

Congo

I am heckled because I greeted the security personnel with a “Bonjour”. Women who strut around here confidently are either bosses or accompanied by men. He commands me to wish him in Lingala, a native and ancient African tongue.

“J'na parle pas Lingala (I cannot speak Lingala)“, I tell him in French. While I interact with this wolf-dude, I am being hooted and ogled at by other men in the vicinity. The semi-circle that surrounds me gets bigger and closer to me....

I call for someone trilingual on the phone. I need an English-French-Lingala translator immediately.

The matter is resolved. It is made clear by the head of the administrative department of the village that I should not be bothered. I am not used to using masculinity as a shield.

This rescue does not leave me feeling victorious.

I reach home. I have to go out again. I don’t feel like it.

I do not wish to carry my gender everywhere today. How do I deal with this?

How does anyone deal with this?

Costa Rica

I used to take a bus to go to my work place.

One day, this midget of a man started following me to my bus stop and started staring me down – till I boarded the bus. Then, things got eventful. Once he called for my attention and as I looked, he unzipped his trousers. Then he turned and walked away. This, mind you, was one of the most posh localities of San Jose. Something like Colaba in Mumbai – or Defence Colony in Delhi.

I needed a plan.

The last thing I was going to do was sit home scared. The next time I reached the bus stop, I noticed, to my utter horror, that this man was sitting on a tree! Pants undone! Something kicked in.

I stoned this man. I picked up every stone around that tree and stoned the bejesus out of him. I stoned him for every woman he has troubled. I stoned him for every time I have been harassed, grabbed, cat called and stared down. I stoned him for every woman harassed around the world. He was about to fall, when he caught himself and started climbing down the tree.

I ran to my bus stop and took the next bus going to where ever!

He knew where I lived.

I never saw him again.

Czech Republic

Prague is a dream for solo women travellers. Walk as much as you wish, visit all the castles and cobbled streets, drown in the music and the food, the history and culture.

The sudden verbal attack that I faced – in the most crowded square of Prague, just to the left of the Charles Bridge – therefore, took me by surprise. This guy kept inching forward, yelling at me. I didn’t step back and he only moved closer. My crime? I had asked if an over-priced sling bag could be offered at a discount.

Phone cameras are saviours. I took his picture, fearing assault. This angered him further; I had to get out. When I realised that all my efforts to reach out to him had been in vain, all I could manage to say – and I am pretty proud of it now – is, "My friend, if there is anything my country has managed to teach me, it is to say: May you have a great life ahead. Bless you!”

Here is the post from Facebook that I had posted, with a picture, of course.

Here is What I Have Learnt:

Clothes, time of the day, ‘inviting’ looks, locality, the age of the harasser – NOTHING justifies harassment. You were never 'asking for it'. It is never in good humour. This is how it starts, ultimately leading to stalking, molesting, and in some cases, fatally, to acid attacks, or rapes.

1. Eve teasing is not okay or a norm.
2. It never was, nor will be your fault.
3. Ensure that you are in a safe environment when you protest. If not, wait, and report it.
4. It is not easy to confront your harasser. Make eye contact, call for attention and speak firmly, no matter how shaken you are on the inside.
5. Carry a pepper spray, or Taser.

Eve teasing leaves you with a sense of powerlessness and guilt.

Let nothing come between you and the way you live your life. I have been fortunate in that things never went far enough to damage me psychologically or physically. Many aren’t.

Resisting may not look like a safe option. But neither does sitting mute.

(Ajita is an internationally published travel writer and multimedia specialist. She has travelled more countries than her age. She documents her travelogues at www.asmalltowngirl.in)