Bullying in schools can be a major concern for parents. It can cause real psychological – and at times even physical – injuries to a child; if unchecked it can even prove to be devastating.
The bad news is that once bullied, the child will likely go through the trauma in some way or the other. It could manifest itself in numerous ways – including social withdrawal, childhood depression, a drop in grades, etc. But all hope is not yet lost since there are a lot of ways to reach out to and safeguard a bullied child.
1. Identify the Signs
Being bullied is a very humiliating experience – so it’s likely that your child may not come forward and confess to being teased and traumatised in school. By being observant though you can pick up on the few most common signs:
If you identify any of the above, try to talk to their teacher at school to ask whether they’ve picked up on any unusual behaviour too.
Some bullied kids try to spend as much time as they can in the bathroom or other secluded places to avoid the bullies. When the bullying is extreme a lot of kids indulge in self-mutilation too.
2. Listen if They Talk
If they do come up and talk to you about it, it’s a good sign indicating that they’re ready to seek and accept help.
3. Approach Them, if They Don’t
4. Don’t Encourage Retaliation
A lot of adults feel differently about this one, and though fighting back may seem understandable it’s usually not a good option.
Retaliating aggressively can have many negative connotations for your child. It may be that the fight becomes all the more violent and somebody ends up getting seriously hurt. But even if this doesn’t happen, you’re passing on the message to your child that aggressive behaviour is acceptable.
Promoting more assertive – but not aggressive – responses is a much better path to take. Removing themselves from the situation, ignoring the bullies, reporting the incident may seem like cowardly responses to you or your child – but they’re better ones in the long run.
5. Encourage Them to Report it
Children who are being bullied may not be keen to go and report the incidents to their teachers simply because the act of complaining can sometimes be used as another teasing moment. But encouraging them to report the bullying is important. It teaches them to seek help as well as respect authority.
Set out a strategy with your child. Maybe you can accompany him/her to the teacher and make your own formal complaint as well. This may sometimes have repercussions but it teaches the child to take the right path and that’s a priority.
(Prachi Jain is a psychologist, trainer, optimist, reader and lover of Red Velvets.)
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