Dear Samsung Galaxy S8, You’re a ‘Glass Apart’! Love, iPhone

Dear Samsung S8 and S8 Plus, it’s time to fly high!

Dear Samsung Galaxy S8 and S8 Plus,

Yaar, tu toh cha gaya. All set to burn the competition down (Oops, I forgot that was a sensitive topic). Anyhow, we’re proud of ya!

‘It’s hard to imagine’ what your family has been through, but they’ve risen from the ashes. Thanks to you, you’re ‘the next big thing’ (only till I launch my new baby in September/October).

But I must confess bro, you’ve got an eye-catching display. Look at you, you’ve got an ‘edge’ over others, you’re just so ‘glassy’ yet not too pricey for wannabe iPhone aadmi.

Oh! Do you remember our deal for the display technology? Don’t worry, I don’t want to share the ‘screen’ space with you. Also I’m not that much into curves, but I was wondering... when will I receive it? I have been waiting for ‘infinity’ and beyond. #TechnologyGoals

BTW, despite Siri’s seniority, she sent a friend request to Bixby. Just to give a heads up about all the weird questions humans could possibly ask.

Psst! Don’t listen to your ‘fiery’ cousin Note 7, the phone who flew too high and blew up, bringing disgrace to the family name by getting it put on the no-fly list.

But if I were you, I wouldn’t worry about it too much. At least not in India. Indian airlines are pretty forgiving. All you need to do is write an apology letter on behalf of your cousin and they’ll get your name removed from the no-fly list. Ravindra Gaikwad will vouch for that.

Let me tell you something before you step into this market. There will be critics who’ll question your individuality by saying you look just like the Galaxy S7. There will also be my bhakts, who’ll only bite the Apple. But don’t let that bother you, dude. You just need to ‘think different’ and evolve with the times, just like us. You saw how we brought a drastic change in our design just by placing the antenna differently. We even introduced two new hatke colours – jet-black and red. We launched the revolutionary airpods.

But look at this – all me, me, me. It’s your moment of glory. Enjoy it while it lasts because my grand party is coming. Toh jaa Samsung Galaxy S7 and S7Plus, jee le apni zindagi.

iLove,
iPhone