(This letter was posted by wrestler Vinesh Phogat on X. It has been edited and paragraph breaks added.)
Olympic rings: As a small girl from a small village, I did not know what was the Olympics or what these rings meant. As a small girl, I dreamt of things like long hair, flaunting a mobile phone in my hand, and doing all these things that any young girl would normally dream of.
My father, an ordinary bus driver, would tell me that one day he would see his daughter fly high in a plane while he would drive on the road below, that only I would turn my father's dreams into a reality. I don't want to say it, but I think I was his favourite child because I was the youngest of the three. When he used to tell me about this, I used to laugh at the absurd thought of it, it did not mean much to me. My mother, who could have a whole story written on the hardships of her life, only dreamt that all her children would one day live a life better than she did. Being independent and her kids being up on their own feet was enough of a dream for her. Her wishes and dreams were much more simple than my father's.
But the day my father left us, all I was left with were his thoughts and words about flying in that plane. I was confused about its meaning then, but held that dream close to me anyway. My mother's dream was now farther away because a couple months after my father's death, she was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer. Here began the journey of three kids who would lose their childhood to support their single mother. Soon, my dreams of long hair, a mobile phone faded as I faced the reality of life and got into the race of survival.
But survival taught me a lot. Seeing my mother's hardships, never-give-up attitude, and fighting spirit is what makes me the way I am. She taught me to fight for what is rightfully mine. When I think about courage I think about her and it is this courage that helps me fight every fight without thinking about the outcome.
Despite a difficult road ahead we as a family never lost our faith in God and always trusted that he had planned the right things for us. Mother always said God will never let bad things happen to good people. I believed this even more when I crossed paths with Somvir, my husband, soulmate, companion, and best friend for life. Somvir has taken every place in my life with his companionship and supported me with each role he took. To say we were equal partners when we faced a challenge would be wrong, for he sacrificed at each step and took my hardships, shielding me always. He placed my journey above his and offered his companionship with utmost loyalty, dedication and honesty. If not for him, I cannot imagine being here, continuing my fight and taking each day head on. This is only possible because I know he is standing by me, behind me and when needed in front of me, always protecting me.
My journey here has allowed me to meet so many people, most good and some bad. In the past 1.5-2 years, a lot has happened on and off the mat. My life took many turns, felt like life took a stop for good and there was no way out from the pit we were in. But the people around me had honesty in them, they had goodwill and massive support for me. These people and their faith in me was so strongly grounded, it is because of them that I could continue through the challenges and get through the past 2 years.
For my journey on the mat, my support team for the past two years has played a huge part.
Dr Dinshaw Pardiwala - this is not a new name in Indian Sports. For me, and I think for many other Indian athletes, he is not just a doctor but an angel in disguise sent by god. When I had stopped believing in myself after facing injuries, it was his belief, work, and faith in me that got me back on my feet again. He has operated on me not once but thrice (both knees and one elbow) and has shown me how resilient the human body can be. His dedication, kindness and honesty towards his work and towards Indian Sports is something no one will doubt including God. I'm forever grateful to him and his entire team for their work and dedication. As a part of the Indian contingent, having him present at the Paris Olympics was God's gift to all fellow athletes.
Dr Wayne Patrick Lombard - he has helped me through the most difficult journey that an athlete faces not once but twice. Science is one side, no doubt about his expertise, but his kind, patient, and creative approach towards handling complicated injuries has gotten me so far. Both the times I was injured and operated, it was (his) work and efforts that made me bounce back from the bottom. He taught me how to take one day at a time and every session with him has felt like a natural stressbuster. I see him as an elder brother, always checking on me even when we were not working together.
Woller Akos - Anything I write about him will always be less. In the world of Women's Wrestling, I have found him to be the best coach, best guide, and best human able to handle any situation with his calmness, patience, and confidence. He does not have the word impossible in his dictionary and he is always ready with a plan whenever we face a tough situation on or off the mat. There were times when I doubted myself, and was shifting away from my internal focus, and he would know exactly what to say and how to bring me back on my path. He was more than a coach, my family in wrestling. He was never hungry to take credit for my victory and success, always humble, and taking a step back as soon as his work was done on the mat. But I want to give him the recognition he much deserves, whatever I do will never be enough to thank him for his sacrifices, for the time spent away from his family. I can never repay him for the time lost with his two small boys. I wonder if they know what their father has done for me and if they understand how important his contributions have been. All I can do today is tell the world that if it hadn't been for you I would not have done on the mat what I have done.
Ashwini Jeevan Patil - the first day we met in 2022, immediate security I felt by the way she took care of me that day, her confidence was enough to make me feel that she could take care of wrestlers and this difficult game. Through the past 2.5 years she went through this journey with me like it was her own, every competition, win and loss, every injury and rehab journey was hers as much as it was mine. This is the first time I met a physiotherapist who has shown this much dedication and reverence towards me and my journey. Only the both of us really know what we went through before every training, after every training session and in the moments in between.
Tajinder Kaur - The journey of my weight loss post-surgery for the past year was as challenging as rehabbing the injury. Cutting over 10kgs while taking care of an injury and preparing for the Olympics is no easy task. I remember when I first told you about playing in the 50kgs category and the way you reassured me that we would achieve this while taking care of the injury simultaneously. It was your persistent encouragement and your reminders about our goal, Olympic gold, that helped me get through the weight cut.
OGQ and team. (Viren Rasquinha Sir, Yatin Bhatkar, Mugdha Barve - Psychologist, Mayank Singh Garia - SnC Coach, Arvind, Shubham, Paryas, Yugam - Sparring partners, and many others working behind the curtain) I cannot imagine the upward journey Indian Sports has had without the contributions of OGQ. What this entire team has achieved in the past decades is all because of the people this team and their honest passion towards sports. In two of the most difficult times in recent years, one - post-Tokyo Olympics in 2021, and two - post the Wrestler's protest and ACL surgery in 2023, it was because of their backing and constant support that I could overcome. Not a day passed by without them checking in, making sure I was safe, progressing and on the right path. Me and my many fellow athletes in this generation are very very lucky to have OGQ, an organisation made up of and founded by some legendary athletes who take care of us.
CDM Gagan Narang sir and the Olympic team support staff- I met Gagan in close acquaintance for the first time and his kindness an empathy towards an athlete was exactly what is needed in high-pressure situation like the games. I want to appreciate the genuine efforts of the entire team that worked day and night for the Indian contingent in the games Village. The recovery room team, masseuse was something I had never experienced in my entire career during the games.
During the wrestlers protest I was fighting hard to protect the sanctity of women in India, the sanctity and values of our Indian flag. But when I look at the pictures of me with the Indian flag from 28th May 2023, it haunts me. It was my wish to have the Indian flag fly high this Olympics, to have a picture of the Indian flag with me that truly represents its value and restores its sanctity. I felt that by doing this it will correctly reprimand what the flag went through and what wrestling went through. I really was hoping to show that to my fellow Indians.
There is so much more say and so much more to tell but words will never be enough and maybe I will speak again when the time feels right. On the night of 6th August and the morning of 7th August, all I want to say is that we did not give up, our efforts did not stop, and did not surrender but the clock stopped and the time was not fair. So was my fate. To my team, my fellow Indians and my family, it feels like the goal that we were working towards and what we had planned to achieve is unfinished, that something might always remain missing, and that things might never be the same again. Maybe under different circumstances, I could see myself playing 2032, because the fight in me and wrestling in me will always be there. I can't predict what the future holds for me and what awaits me in this journey next, but I am sure that I will continue to fight always for what I believe in and for the right thing.
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