2006
With skipper Michael Vaughan failing a fitness test, Marcus Trescothick was asked to lead the English cricket team against India. Except, he had to abruptly return home.
2014
Michael Phelps – the most decorated Olympian of all time – had just won six medals at the Rio de Janeiro Olympics. Except, according to his own admission, he ‘did not want to be alive.’
2021
Naomi Osaka had recently secured her fourth Grand Slam triumph, followed by a second-round qualification at the French Open. Except, she decided to withdraw her participation.
What unites Trescothick, Phelps and Osaka?
Besides their athletic prowess, they are among the few sportspersons to have harboured the courage to speak about their bouts with depression, shedding light on an issue often overlooked in sports.
Compared to the Westerners, having an open dialogue on mental health is more challenging for the natives of log-kya-kahenge-stan – the land of what-will-people-say – with the subject being trivialised and stigmatised. A 2018 report from the Live Love Laugh Foundation revealed that 71% of respondents used stigmatising terms such as 'mad' and 'crazy' whilst describing individuals with mental illnesses.
And speaking about depression whilst being a cricketer? Strict ‘no-no.’ Unless, of course, one is called Veda Krishnamurthy.
Dealing with Depression, and Its Associated Stigmatisation
The 31-year-old batter from Karnataka, who was seen asking questions to cricketers not long ago, during her stint in broadcasting, has reversed roles. In a refreshing change, she is back to answering questions, ahead of the 2024 Women’s Premier League (WPL), where she will be seen playing for the Gujarat Giants.
On being asked whether it feels like homecoming, Veda tells The Quint:
This is my calling. This is something I enjoy doing. Working in broadcasting was just to keep myself occupied, instead of sulking over a lot of things. This is more like me, because I like giving interviews more than taking interviews.Veda Krishamurthy
In 2020, Veda was dropped from the Indian team. A year later, she lost the two women who ignited her cricketing journey – her mother, Cheluvamaba Devi, and her elder sister, Vatsala Shivakumar – to COVID-19.
Reflecting on the last few years, Veda says:
It has been a tough three years for me, and I’m not even counting the year when I was dropped from the Indian team because I think that is something every player goes through. For me, coming back from the personal tragedies was a lot more challenging aspect because that was when I realised a lot of things are not in your control, and you tend to lose out mentally.Veda Krishamurthy
She could have stopped there, but chose not to, for the greater good. Recognising that her words held the power to resonate deeply with fellow athletes, and others, who are not seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, Veda chose to elaborate further.
There were a lot of issues that I faced. Sleep (deprivation), depression, anxiety – all of these came into play at that point. I figured out that the biggest problem was to approach someone and start a conversation. In India, we have this stigma that we cannot show our vulnerable side to people. That’s the last thing one would do. People say that I would rather die than show that I’m vulnerable. To actually go out and say that I have a problem and I need to figure it out and fix it, that was the hardest thing for me.Veda Krishamurthy
Find Your Happiness, Because No One Else Will Do It for You
The athletes, who have spoken about depression, have also highlighted the paramount importance of having a conversation. Echoing similar sentiments, Veda says “Having a conversation is the most important to me.”
Among the other ‘important things’ is – contrary to what the hollow quotes from idealistically utopian writers suggest – living for one’s own happiness, not for others’. Veda explains:
We make a lot of decisions around other people. We want to make others happy, we want to make society happy. But we don’t look into ourselves and ask whether we’ll be happy with those decisions. I have realised that if I am not happy, I will not make people around me happy. You can bring joy to other people’s lives only when you are happy.Veda Krishamurthy
The explanation is followed by a lesson on standing up for one’s self:
It takes a lot to be adamant and do what you want to do, not what others want you to do. There is a lot of stigma, people will point fingers at you in every step of the way. But we need to be guided towards being brave, towards standing up for ourselves.Veda Krishamurthy
How a Broadcasting Job Helped Veda After WPL Snub
Veda stands among the cohort of female Indian cricketers who waited, with bated breath, for years to participate in a women’s version of the Indian Premier League (IPL). When it eventually commenced in 2023, Veda Krishnamurthy was not a part of the competition, having gone unsold in the auction.
Recollecting events from a year ago, Veda says:
It was very disappointing. I was having the most negative thoughts possible. Last year around this time, it kind of felt like the end of everything for me. I was just about to get off my medicines for anxiety and depression, and then this happened. It was a trigger. I fell back into the old stuff.Veda Krishamurthy
A broadcasting job, as it turned out, prevented her from slipping further down the spiral.
It was very difficult for me to realise that I could not be just sitting like this. That is why I picked up commentary work, so that I can be occupied with work. People around me at the workplace were also very cooperative. They always checked up on me – if I’m okay, if I’m fine, how I’m doing. They ensured that I have kind of cushions all around me.
A New Lease of Life in WPL 2024
With the disappointment of last season still fresh in her memory, Veda did not have any expectations from this edition’s auction. Or, did she?
I had no expectations, because I knew exactly what would happen if I had expectations and then no one picked me. I did not want that feeling to come back rushing at me. I was very pragmatic. But having said all of that, I did have my eyes glued to the TV screen from the pre-auction show itself, let alone the auction. When I got picked, there was no other emotion except relief. It took me a while to realise what was happening.Veda Krishamurthy
Among other things, Veda is looking forward to the reunion with her former captain, Mithali Raj, who is now working as the mentor of Gujarat Giants.
It is very uplifting to have Mithali in Gujarat Giants. Most of my best innings have come under her captaincy. Having her around brings the best out of me, so I think that will give me an advantage. Hopefully, this will be the start of a lot of new things.Veda Krishamurthy
Expectations Are (Massively) Overrated
Nearly four years have passed since Veda last donned the blue jersey of the Indian team. Now featuring in orange, she is aware of the platform WPL will provide, but the massively overrated term called ‘expectation’ has been eradicated from her vocabulary, once and for all.
I want to continue with my philosophy of having no expectations. This tournament holds a lot of value. If you are doing well in WPL, you are in the eyes of a lot of people and that opens up doors. But I am not thinking about it (making a comeback in the Indian team) at this point. I want to be in the moment and enjoy every bit of what I am doing here. Whatever happens in the future will be a result of how this tournament will go. It is just about making sure that I’m here and available for the team (Gujarat Giants) and that I can do something for them.Veda Krishamurthy
Rock Bottom Isn’t as Bad as You Think
And hence, in the aftermath of hitting rock bottom, the ascendancy of Veda Krishnamurthy continues to unfold. But instead of anticipating what’s at the summit, she finds solace in the challenges she encountered at the base.
“When you hit rock bottom, there is no further low for you. You can only rise from there. Of course, it has taken a lot of time. Three years is a long time. But having some sort of joy back in life – this has come at the right time. I am more grateful for the opportunities that I am presented at this point of my career (as compared to before),” Veda signs off.
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