"They (politicians) are banning terminology, making it punitive, giving the logic that if you talk about gay or trans people, a straight child might want to become gay or trans. It’s being labelled as evil and contagious! I don’t believe in that,” says Om Nayak, an Indian American who lives in Florida.
Nayak finds the justification for the new ‘Don’t’ Say Gay’ law stigmatising and absurd, adding, “No one wants to go through that tough journey. It is not a walk in the park!”
The Lakewood Ranch resident remembers his transgender daughter Maya’s teenage years being difficult: ”She was going through self-doubt, low self-esteem, bullying, anxiety. She wasn’t comfortable with her male role.”
He strongly believes that, “Schools should be safe zones where children feel empowered. Being able to freely express without fear of being outed is important when a kid is trying to figure out who they are.”
Agrees Maya who always felt an affinity for girls’ clothes from her early years. It took her years to resolve her conflicts and realise that she is transgender. Now an accomplished aerospace engineer, she says that ‘Don’t Say Gay’ will further alienate already marginalised queer children.
“Earlier there was a potential to bring it up in school. There aren’t too many places kids can go to talk about this. If nothing else, visual literal representation must be there for kids, who see to believe – this person is like me, and yes, I am like that, so it’s fine; this law strips kids of that experience,” says Maya referring to the passing of Florida House Bill 1557 or Parental Rights in Education Act, also referred to as ‘Don’t Say Gay’ by those who oppose it.
Florida’s governor signed the bill into law on 28 March. Effective from 1 July, it prohibits any classroom instruction on sexual orientation or gender identity in classes from kindergarten to third grade.
'Will Impact Healthy Development of Queer Children'
“Their kids will not be able to talk about their family in school, which seems so unjust!” says an LGBTQ+ advocate Samir Das, giving the example of his friend’s little kids.
“One of my good friends who is gay, married his partner and adopted two kids. If everyone is asked to talk about their families on family day, their little kids won’t be allowed to – that will be traumatic!” says the Fort Lauderdale resident who has participated in successful campaigns for over two decades, including a critical one which resulted in US Supreme Court legalising gay marriage.
Samir left India for his undergraduate studies, and stayed. “In the pre-internet times, the only way to be gay and find others was to get out of the country,” says the Indian American.
He believes the new law will negatively impact healthy development of queer children and families, something he experienced in childhood. “If I knew someone gay in my extended family or society, I would have felt it not inherently wrong during my growing up years. There was an identity crisis with no gay role models,” he adds.
He explains that it is homophobic that Florida’s legislators are equating talking about LGBTQ in schools with talking about sex.
“There are laws in Florida that allow parents to opt out of sex education, so why this? If you look at what a repressive society does to LGBTQ children, you will find answer – over 40 percent of homeless youth are LGBT, 50 percent of these attempt to take their own lives – that is a direct cause of not taking up LGBT issues. We need to build alliances between all kids,” says Samir.
Along with working in analytics for medical providers, he is actively involved with an organisation that focuses on legislation – SAVE LGBTQ – joining protests, calling senators, canvassing door to door to convince Floridians that ‘Don’t Say Gay’ is censorship.
'Takes Away Our Freedom of Speech'
As queer parents face an uncertain future about whether their identity will be considered a crime for their children in school, Florida’s teachers are very alarmed.
J Marie Bailey, a teacher at an Orlando school doesn’t agree with the restrictive law. She says, “If little Billy is showing a picture of two daddies to which a little girl in class says – It’s yucky! How will I be able to as a teacher say – it’s not yucky. It takes away our freedom of speech, makes us afraid. How can we help our students if we can’t speak!”
Teachers are fearful as the law includes a provision allowing parents to sue schools if they feel that the law has been violated. Its Republican proponents justify upholding parents’ rights to protect children from sexual content in Florida schools and determine when and how to introduce LGBTQ topics to their children.
'Elementary Years Crucial for Gender Identity Formation'
Those against the law fear that teachers being silenced will curtail rights of queer parents and children, and make it even harder to be LGBTQ in Florida’s schools. One of the most passionate opponents, 11th grader Will Larkins, spoke out against the bill on the Florida Senate floor in February this year.
“They know they are trying to kill (the queer community) and it is their goal. If they get rid of that education, it sets up a life of difficulty for the queer community – if you learn hate in the first years it is difficult to unlearn it,” says Will, who has knocked on hundreds of doors to share his difficult experiences of growing up gay.
He felt different even as a little boy when he lived in California, “Gender wise, I didn’t fall into a binary. I struggled with it since kindergarten. I would put on girl’s clothes and the boys would bully me. The boys would go into boy’s bathroom and girls into a girl’s, but I would stand there unable to decide,” remembers Will, who is co-founder and president of Queer Student Union at Winter Park High School in Florida, and calls his hundreds-strong school walkout protests 'Say Gay Anyway'.
Before signing the law, Florida’s Governor DeSantis said at a press conference, that teaching kindergarten-age kids, ‘they can be whatever they want to be’ was ‘inappropriate’. But early childhood years are developmentally significant, says teacher J Bailey, also the mother of a transgender teenager.
She explains, “My own son realised something was different with him when he was seven. The Erikson stages of psychosocial development identify it scientifically, during elementary years, children are figuring out where they belong in terms of gender identity and social identity, which has nothing to do with sexual identity. This is an important age when teachers have most impact on students, as they start connecting with society and figure out where they fit in.”
An activist opposing ‘Don’t Say Gay’, she believes that lawmakers are intentionally blocking essential awareness about LGBTQ for little children, which will lead to deeper damage.
The US is considered a safer haven for the queer community than many other countries, after decades of campaigns for rights. Same-sex marriage is legal in Florida. But rates of suicide are alarming, says Will, adding “Queer youth are four times more likely to consider suicide than their straight peers. LGBTQ in Florida have the highest rate of suicide of queer communities in the country. We have a mental health problem in the queer community! This will make it more oppressive.”
'Say Gay Anyway'
Intense protests continue making the state a pivotal battleground for LGBTQ rights. ‘Don’t Say Gay’ has made international and national news. It was ridiculed during the Oscars ceremony. President Biden calls it hateful. Disney wants to see the law repealed.
No such laws have been passed in the last two decades since the advancement of LGBTQ rights in the US.
Taking it on, a Florida queer couple along with other organisational plaintiffs filed the first lawsuit against ‘Don’t Say Gay’ in a federal court in Miami-Dade county on 30 March.
J Bailey will keep her advocacy intensified. She says, “How is a cisgender child more important than my child? If we can get rid of this law in the courts, then there is hope.”
Samir Das is also hopeful: “As we see advances, we see pushback. This pushback against freedom is the same as what happened during civil rights movement – forward, then two steps back. The society is more accepting of LGBTQ. This law is more of a talking point from people in the government with national ambitions. Majority of Floridians are libertarians.”
It is believed that the conservative law is aimed to mobilise Republican bases ahead of this year’s polls and bolster support for Governor DeSantis’ Presidential run.
Along with numerous organisations, Florida’s youths are rising to make sure that they vote.
“Personally my next step is to get everyone to vote. Midterms (elections) are coming up this year. Many teenagers will become eligible to vote, so we are organising registration booths at my school. Majority of Floridians are coloured and immigrant people, but white-heterosexual-cisgender lawmakers, who are a minority, make up the majority of legislature in Florida. Let’s vote these people out!” says Will Larkins, who would rather ‘Say Gay Anyway’.
(Savita Patel is a San Francisco Bay Area-based journalist and producer. She reports on Indian diaspora, India-US ties, geopolitics, technology, public health, and environment. She tweets at @SsavitaPatel.)
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