Pokemon ‘Eggs’ in Temples Are Offensive... If You’re Totally Nuts

The petitioner and the court are missing a key point here: That Pokemon Go is NOT REAL, and neither are its ‘eggs’.

In a development that seems to be straight out of the twilight zone, the Gujarat High Court has issued a notice to the state and central governments, based on a PIL filed by a human being with skin so thin I’m sure he is translucent. The petitioner is affronted by the horribly insensitive Pokemon Go. Why? Because people have apparently been finding Pokemon ‘eggs’ in Hindu and Jain temples.

Since eggs are considered non-vegetarian and blasphemous in the places of worship, he contends that Pokemon Go is hurting the religious sentiments of Hindus and Jains and therefore, ought to be banned.

Let’s count the ways in which this is hugely embarrassing.

1. Pokemon Go is Fictitious

This would be like if uptight muggles went to Charing Cross Road in London where Diagon Alley is supposed to be situated, started protesting that Harry Potter is blaspheming against their religion (like Christians have in the past protested its promotion of ‘witchcraft’), and demanding that it be banned.

These “eggs” are NOT REAL. They exist only on phones with augmented-reality capability. They are a feature of the phone, not of the temples... or of real life. Being offended by this is like being offended if someone enters the temple and daydreams about boiled eggs. Batsh*t insane.

2. Pokemon Go Has Not Even LAUNCHED in India

The people playing the game in Hindu and Jain temples in the country right now have downloaded the game illegally. We don’t know if or when it will launch in India, and as such, the developer has no power over what people who have downloaded their game do in a country where it’s not even supposed to be played.

What does the petitioner expect the app developer to do? And why on earth would Niantic Inc oblige? And why in the blue hell is a High Court going along with this?

3. Developer Doesn’t Know or Care Where Pokestops are Located

The locations of Pokestops are generated based on a number of factors, with potential hard coding of locations according to footfall in high-traffic areas. But neither the game itself nor its developer are likely to know whether a certain GPS coordinate is a temple, or an airport, or a toilet, or a gaushala. So when the petitioner’s lawyer says that he has filed the PIL to get to the bottom of the developer’s “intentions” with these ‘eggs’ in temples, I think it’s safe to say that Niantic has never given this a second thought.

Because they’re likely not spending their days pondering the sensitivities of ridiculous whiners.

4. Don’t Our Courts Have Better Things to Do?

It might already be too late for common sense, because two judges have actually taken this PIL seriously instead of laugh-snorting it out of court the moment they heard it. But consider this: Every single day, there is a backlog of criminal cases involving rapists, murderers, abusers, corruption, etc for judges to deal with. So much so, that Chief Justice TS Thakur broke down in front of Prime Minister Narendra Modi when talking about how much pressure the relatively low number of Indian judges are under.

In such a dire situation, for a High Court to consider a PIL over an augmented-reality game that is not real, has no tangible component, and is not even supposed to be played here, is both hilarious and disturbing at the same time. It casts doubt over the entire judicial system, and I feel a lot less sympathy for overworked judges if these are the kinds of cases that make up their burdensome backlog; if these are the kinds of cases that get their already-stretched attention.

To be fair, there are other aspects to this PIL. Like the charge that Pokemon Go infringes upon ‘privacy’, poses a threat to the ‘life and limb’ of players, even that the geo-location feature threatens ‘national security’. But given that Pokemon Go does not force players into other people’s properties or homes; given that players are autonomous individuals who can choose what level of risk to take on in their lives; given that the ‘national security’ argument is buttressed only by a single case of robbery in the US; and given that the game is not officially launched here, it’s difficult to see the sense in this PIL, or in the judges’ decision to indulge it.

Gujarat HC, please get it together. We’d all be eternally grateful if you’d leave us our petty pleasures in life, and spend your limited resources on catching actual criminals.