Jatayunama: Ravan’s Avian Trouble & the First Anti-Terror Crusader

Meet India’s first terror-fighter, Jatayu.

Prime Minister Narendra Modi recently took it upon himself to reacquaint our country with the mythical character of Jatayu from the Ramayana. He has called Jatayu the first being to fight terrorism. The Quint has already millennial-splained the Jatayu myth for you.

For me, like millions of other Bengalis, Jatayu does not invoke the image of a mythical bird. It, instead, reminds us of a dhoti-clad, bald Bengali writer of bestselling daredevil mystery novels, with a penchant for alliterative titles. Lalmohan Ganguly, aka Jatayu, is one of the most loved Bengali fictional characters. Created by Satyajit Ray, Jatayu is Feluda’s (Ray’s very own Bengali Sherlock – a series he wrote and illustrated) satellite, and was played on screen by the inimitable Santosh Dutta. Ray only made two films out of his Feluda stories. We meet Jatayu for the first time in Sonar Kella (The Fortress).

Ravan raja jab Sita mai ji ko haran kar ke le jata tha, tab Jatayu pakshi aake unko bahut pareshan kiya. Badhiya pakshi, Jatayu, mera chadmanaam. (When King Ravan was abducting Mother Sita, Jatayu the bird gave him a really hard time. A fine bird, Jatayu, my pseudonym.) For long, Jatayu was a “badhiya pakshi”, fondly reminiscent of a funny Bengali man’s even funnier attempt at speaking Hindi. The bird who was responsible for Ravan’s pareshani.

But all that has changed now. Jatayu is our very own feminist terror avenger. He fought with a terrorist to safeguard the modesty and dignity of a woman, as PM Modi told us. Exit Lalmohan, enter Birdman.

Space Age Indian Myths

We have already established that Indian myths are the birthplace of all modern day technological and scientific achievements and discoveries. Ravan’s very own Pushpak Rath, his flying chariot, (later kept for himself by Ram) was the genesis of the modern day aeroplane. We also had the first plastic surgery – remember that time when an elephant’s head was grafted on to Ganesha?

Or that time when Sanjay was relaying what was happening on the battlefield of Kurukshetra, live to Dhritarashtra in the Mahabharata – satellite television people! Do you think we are done? No way. Did you know that Hanuman was the first to launch a surgical strike when he went to Lanka and came back, setting it on fire? There’s more, the first war on terror was fought when Ram led an offensive into the heart of Lanka to rescue his wife, sorry, end evil and terror by killing Ravan, the first terrorist.

It’s just another thing that a lot of people in India worship Ravan as a deity. Their cosmologies are in need of serious restructuring.

The Jettisoning Jatayu

So now that we have established Jatayu was the first anti-terror crusader, because he fought till death saving the dignity of a woman, what next? Bush Jr had famously remarked that invading Iraq would ensure that women in that will be liberated. The US Marines hence was established as the biggest feminist force in the world.

Modi ji chose to deliver his Jatayu thesis in Lucknow, the capital of Uttar Pradesh. Incidentally, the state goes to polls early next year. Jatayu will be Modiji’s winning card, sorry, most lethal intellectual weapon to inspire masses in combatting terrorism. Primarily by men protecting women. He hasn’t asked you to grow wings and soar high silly, he’s asked you to protect your women. Guard them, shield them, die saving them. We are on our way to becoming a feminist utopia. Given the number of crimes against women in this country, the number of Jatayu men will soon start dwindling. Fighting till death and all. And women, as they would become more in number, will easily eliminate the non-Jatayu ones.

Thank you Modiji.