RainbowMan: Rain, Smoke and Shit; Climate Change and You

It’s the little things that count in reversing climate change, especially if over a billion people do it together

As global leaders reached an historic agreement on controlling climate change this weekend, I did a little happy dance! I’m not a climate change alarmist, but I’m also not so thick in the head that I’d go into denial about drastic changes in weather phenomena.

Infact, I’m inclined to agree with those who say climate change is the result of human activity. We’ve been copulating and populating the planet at an alarming rate! I think using condoms is perhaps the most environment friendly thing people can do. Wanna save the environment? Say no to love without the glove!

Think about it, more people will use more fuel, eat more food and produce more waste. All this, if not managed properly will lead to a shortage of natural resources and an increase in different kinds of pollution, ultimately having an impact on climate. Over time this cycle of abuse gains momentum and the juggernaut becomes unstoppable.

We are very close to the beginning of the end. While large parts of Maharashtra have been reeling under successive droughts, in just the last two years there have been floods in Uttarakhand, Bihar, Assam, Kashmir and Chennai.

Speaking of Chennai, I feel that I share a bond with the people of Chennai. Oddly, it isn’t because I’m Tamil. Truth be told, while Tamil is my mother tongue, I’m culturally more Maharashtrian than anything else. But it is because I was raised in Mumbai and have survived multiple floods and flood like situations that I can relate to what my friends in Chennai are going through.

I have walked through waist deep water, even as rat carcasses, used sanitary napkins and sundry garbage floated past me on several occasions. I have also had many near misses with open drains. I have walked on submerged railway tracks as trains halted mid-way between stations. I have scooped up frightened wet puppies and kittens in my arms and placed them on higher ground in safer places.

I have desperately held on to a stranger’s shoulder as I lost my balance to prevent myself from plunging face-first into water so filthy that it is opaque.

Not that Delhi fares any better. I was there this weekend and the city took my breath away… and it had nothing to do with the hot men! It’s like there’s a war against oxygen and every lung is being punished.

I don’t know how successful the odd-even plan is going to be, but it is a start. Beijing tried something similar during the Olympics and it brought down pollution by 40 percent! Come on Delhi; let’s show the Chinese that we can do better.

I don’t know how successful international governments will be in implementing the Paris agreement, but I think we can make real changes on the ground right here in India. This is because responsible usage and consumption has been a part of Indian culture for centuries.

How many times have your grandparents told you, “Anna ka apmaan nahi karte”? Doesn’t your dad dutifully sell off all old newspapers at the end of each month? Hasn’t your mom ever whacked you on the butt for forgetting to switch off the lights or turn off the tap when not in use? We were reducing our carbon foot print before it became cool!

On the personal front, I’m vegetarian. Don’t crucify me! Look it up. It takes 10 times the resources to produce one kg of meat as it does to produce and equal amount of green crunchies, not to mention the methane emissions! I also limit my shower time to 10 minutes, use paper or cloth bags instead of plastic pishwees and always use public transport. It’s not down-market. It’s energy efficient and quick. So the next time some hoity-toity little twit declares she has never taken a bus, take a minute to remind her how having money doesn’t give her the right to screw up the environment.

Yes, I know your chances of running into a lecherous douche-bag are very high when you travel by public transport. Akeli ladki khuli tijori… don’t remind me! It’s not just women. I have lost count of how many times I have been ‘accidentally’ poked by a wayward bone on the local train! Look, I have no easy answers for this part. If you must take a car due to ungodly work hours or safety concerns, try to carpool with a group of people you trust. By the way, did you know your employer is legally required to provide you with transport facilities if you work post 10 pm or are required to report for work before 6 am? Don’t believe me? Look it up.

Also, on a slightly tangential note and I must confess I don’t really know too much about this, what happens to our… er… ummm… excrement? I mean 1.25 billion of us take a dump at least once a day, every day, right? And, we can turn cow dung into fuel, so I wonder if we can creatively use our own potty to… I don’t know… produce electricity or heat.

I may be reaching, but it sure would be nice to see a kid studying under a streetlamp and think, “Hey, my shit lit that lamp!” (I swear to God I’m not high. I’m just weird that way!)

Anyway, who am I to pontificate? I’m just saying that it’s the little things that count, especially if over a billion people do it together. Otherwise there is no real difference between parasites and humans, is there?

(Harish Iyer is an equal rights activist working for the rights of the LGBT community, women, children and animals. ‘Rainbow Man’ is Harish’s regular blog for The Quint)