Our Most Important Weapon is Truth: Priya Ramani’s Husband

“This case is not Akbar vs Ramani, but Union of India vs Ramani”, Halarnkar writes.

“India’s patriarchy understands what is at stake and will not give in without a bitter fight. If an Akbar is conceded, there are countless others whose careers will be in jeopardy. Sexual misconduct in India has, thus far, been regarded a part of life – to be endured, and in so doing, confirming the supremacy of the male because, of course, men must be men and a woman must know her place.”

Through a painful and honest blog published in Scroll.in, Priya Ramani's husband Samar Halarnkar highlights the courage it took for his wife to name MJ Akbar for his inappropriate behavior at the workplace, the culture of male impunity that stings India's professional lives, and finally, the power of truth that pervades over all else.

Halarnkar's point of departure is the normalisation of misuse of power and authority by powerful men. While being aware of his wife's ordeal for about 20 years, he was also cognizant of the fact that complaints of 'inappropriate' behavior were never considered seriously, and nor were the redressal mechanisms within media companies for the same. In all this, as he writes, women stood to lose most from going against men in positions of power.

Samar Halarnkar also explains why his wife would no longer remain silent, and that it was both her courage, as well as a strong sense of right and wrong, that helped name a powerful minister and former editor.

“When women younger than her started to share traumas and experiences far worse than hers, and references grew in the media world to “the elephant in the room”, a man more powerful than others like him, my wife decided she could no longer stay quiet. She has always had a strong sense of right and wrong, black and white, and she has never lacked courage. It is one reason I married her,” he writes.

In between incessant calls from unknown numbers and reporters seeking television appearances, Halarnkar writes about how the couple's silent life has been "torn asunder.” The consequent result of the defamation suit against his wife, therefore, has resulted in her being the target. Akbar's intention is clear and two pronged, he argues.

The first is intimidation via the medium of a defamation lawsuit. In Halarnkar's own words:

“His intention is clear: To intimidate her, and through her, to intimidate the others who have spoken up and silence others who have not. Criminal defamation, a strong protection afforded by the law, can sometimes be used as a tool of intimidation.”

Second, the use of a defamation suit as a signal from the political establishment that women should be made aware of their limits. He says:

“This is not Akbar vs Ramani, this is the Union of India vs Ramani. He has access to a battery of powerful lawyers: There are 97 listed in the legal notice. She has, thus far, one.”

The Culture of Male Impunity and the Power of Truth

Ramani's husband notes the reasons behind the 'menacing' reaction to his wife's account: First, the culture of sexual harassment itself, and second, the maintenance of a patriarchal status quo, which is the reason behind the lack of support from opposition parties as well. A sense of superiority is so ingrained in men, he says, that even women are 'willing accomplices'.

“India’s patriarchy understands what is at stake and will not give in without a bitter fight. If an Akbar is conceded, there are countless others whose careers will be in jeopardy,” he writes.

Finally, he addresses the #MeToo movement, and how it has opened the space to demonstrate that intimidation is not normal, it must have consequences. In fact, intimidation is the powerful man's strongest weapon, he says. For them (him and his wife), the important weapon is truth, and the courage to fight in the face of power. For this reason, "the normalcy of unreconstructed men will not return. The women of India will ensure it does not," Halarnkar powerfully states.

Of course, there is a fear of the costs of naming Akbar, and the effect of it on his family. But as he writes, "that fear must now end."