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Let’s be very honest. Board exams can give all of us, even the best of us, a tough time. The woes range from time management to parental expectations, from peer pressure to pressure to perform better than before. We’ve all been there and dreaded the jittery nerves.
To ensure some smooth sailing, The Quint brings you some expert advice from counsellors.
The experts say that the atmosphere in the house needs to be made student-friendly, which a lot of parents ensure. However, it’s significance cannot be undermined.
“If you are talking about studies 24x7, academics, performance, you are increasing the level of stress in your own child. Even if the child is worried about the next paper or the kind of performance in the next paper, you need to divert the conversation to a lighter topic,” says Roli Tripathi, a CBSE counsellor assisting the Board with queries of children round the clock.
How Can Parents Prepare Themselves?
It’s a tightrope walk to ensure your child studies but also know where to draw the line. The parental stress, driven by wanting the child to perform exceptionally well in Board exams, is needed, but how much is too much?
The trick is to get some perspective, says clinical psychologist and psychotherapist Anusuya Datta.
“Please remember this exam is not about you. You have written your exam. Now you are at a certain stage in your life. This is the first exam your child is going to write, so please take a moment to empathise with the child,” Datta tells The Quint.
Just look back and think of the times when maybe you were writing the exam, or maybe times in your life you found very challenging and it has felt like it will never get better, and look where you are now. You have the larger perspective. Your child doesn’t. He or she has spent 16 or 17 years on the planet.Anusuya Datta, Clinical Psychologist and Psychotherapist
She adds that it is important to remember the bottom line for parents, which is the child’s well-being.
“The child’s well-being may not come from acing this exam, it might come from passing this exam,” says Datta.
Even the children can step back and wriggle out of the race to score 100 percent because the obsession may not be healthy, says Dr Jitendra Nagpal, Senior Consultant Psychologist.
“The idea is not of marks. Idea shouldn’t be of qualification of entrance exams. For that, you need good health and a positive state of mind which is adaptive and encouraging,” Dr Nagpal says.
Too Stressed? Reach Out for Help.
As for students who are stressed and find it difficult to manage their stress, they should remember that they need to reach out and seek help to restore mental health.
“Getting help is – at the risk of sounding oxymoronic – one of the most helpful things you can do for yourself because people who perform well – like coming in the top five percentile of their class – most people don’t see that they too might be stressed and need help. It is important to reach out and ask for help. There is absolutely no shame in it,” Dr Datta says.
This exam season, we want you to know that you’re not alone. #MarksDontMatter is The Quint’s campaign for all the young and anxious students who are constantly being pressured to score 'full marks'.
The Quint wants you to know #MarksDontMatter
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