#TalkingStalking: Dear Women, Don’t Try to Tell Me It’s My Fault

#TalkingStalking | Women need to be treated as fellow human being and not as property.

We talk about ‘freedom’ and ‘development’, but the fact is that women in our country do not enjoy any kind of freedom, especially of movement. They are not safe in public areas, be it schools, colleges, workplace, or even their own homes.

I have been a victim of stalking many times. And I am sure that it’s not just me, but every girl in our country who has gone through this uncomfortable moment. Yet, we keep our mouths zipped. And I fail to understand why.

I was born and raised in north India, but I hail from Kerala, the so-called ‘God’s Own Country’. In north India, I used to wear contemporary clothes and I was a person who loved fashion and would try out different styles.

A year ago, I got a better job offer in Kerala and moved here. I was surprised at the amount of stares that women who dress-up in a western attire get on the streets. Even a simple jeans and t-shirt makes guys leach at us and even stalk us.

Once I was traveling in a bus to attend one of my friend’s wedding reception. And honestly, my attire was a simple, colorful frock and yes, it was “below” the knee length. I noticed a group of people, including women, who were staring at me and murmuring in each other’s ears. I could easily tell they were talking about me.

When I was about to get down, a lady came up to me and said, “This is Kerala. Don’t blame guys if you land in trouble”. With the word ‘trouble’, she meant that someone could rape me, or molest me. I was livid, and yet I could pity her.

If you walk on the streets without wearing a dupatta or a shawl, be prepared not just for the men’s stares but also for the questions that women will put to you – “Why can’t you dress modestly?”

I am sure this culture won’t stop unless people are educated. Girls are not responsible for the rape; neither is their dress. To all those stalkers and to all such women, I would ask just one question – If a girl is raped for wearing short or tight clothes, what about that 60-year-old victim who’s never stepped out sans her burqa?

We need to change our mindsets, only then can we be safe.

(#TalkingStalking: Have you ever been stalked? Share your experience with The Quint and inspire others to shatter the silence surrounding stalking. Send your stories to [e-mail] or WhatsApp @ [phone].)