I Shamelessly Asked People How I Could be on a Fashion Magazine

Video Editor: Purnendu Preetam
Camera Person: Abhay Sharma

There was a time when all I wanted to be was a Fashion Week regular. I would dream of wearing eyeball-grabbing outfits — a new one for each of the five days (and have separate ones for day and night, of course). Sometimes when ambition grew precariously large, I would occasionally even dream of sitting in the front row at shows held by important designers.

Ah, those were simple days — when my ambition oscillated between being a style blogger and a Page 3 celebrity. When I would dream of exiting in slow-mo from a fancy car and being endlessly hounded by the paparazzi for my one-step-ahead-of-fashion looks. Of course, I wouldn’t oblige them with any pictures. I would be pricey like that.

To be fair, this ‘dream’ didn’t come from a totally delusional place; I squarely place the blame on my friends and colleagues for showering me with compliments.

Net net, for years, I was under the illusion that my style was amazing. UNTIL THE DAY I went to my first fashion show and got NO attention.

I mean, I could have turned into a fly inside the venue and no one would have noticed. What I thought was one of my more savvy looks paled in comparison to what the “insiders” were wearing.

They were the baaps and ammas of quirk, man. Think lehengas on men, and jeans with saris on women. Some wore simple (but so very expensive) things that were picked straight from the racks of a Jaypore or a Nicobar.

My blue velvet top with leg-o’-mutton sleeves, which the magazine on my table had assured me was the hottest trend of the season, could just not compete with Vivek, a BPO worker wearing a see-through top with taped nipples.

I asked him for some fashion tips, though. Be outlandish, he said. And accessorise your outfits. It is the most workable piece of advice I have ever received.

But an oft-repeated (but absolutely humbug) piece of sartorial advice that often comes my way is to show my true self. True self. Really? Media professional Prashanti?

I mean, what if my true self sucks and is as vanilla as a Barjatya film?

Let’s come to makeup now. Pink-tinted lips are cool, the style divas say. But why don’t they honestly tell you that no heads would turn when you wear it? At least Vivek blatantly told me to go for a glitter lipstick instead.

But one cardinal rule of swag that I have myself observed over repeated visits to the fashion weeks is this: At all times, you must wear sunglasses. Even fashion designer Anupama Dayal has confirmed this.

I can’t subscribe to it though because of a personal sad story. You see, I get my clear vision after labouring to put on lenses every morning or cleaning up my spectacles at least ten times a day. Which is why I find my vision very valuable and don’t want to tint it with any shade of black or brown.

And DON’T laugh, I have been told. Because as every diva ever will tell you, it hides all the contouring.

All the advice is fine. But you yourself tell me, how disappointed would my friends and colleagues, including my female boss, who drops an occasional compliment my way, be after finding out that my velvet top and wide smile couldn’t make it to the front page of style blogs this year?