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QSatire: What Stresses Ranbir Kapoor, Mandana Karimi, Kejriwal? 

Find out what’s stressing out Ranbir Kapoor, Mandana Karimi, and Arvind Kejriwal.

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Stress is a killer! Like a creeper, it sneaks up on you and holds on tight, making it impossible to work, eat or do anything at all. Apart from the zillions of ways the internet teaches you to beat the hell out of stress, there is also a Stress Awareness Day that happens to be today. Phew!

We at The Quint decided to list some people, organisations – even classes of animals – that have been under tremendous stress lately and could do with some de-stressing!

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Cattle Class

Find out what’s stressing out Ranbir Kapoor, Mandana Karimi, and Arvind Kejriwal.

Cows are meaty, methane exhaling, chewy, controversial, stinking animals, who are more than happy living in their green pastures and holding up traffic on Indian streets. Now, if you remove this godly creature from its peaceful existence and place them in the circus of prime-time television, which poor animal wouldn’t be stressed out? That’s exactly what has happened to our dear gau mata, who has lost all her motherly charm thanks to all the meaty controversy around her.

Ranbir Kapoor

Find out what’s stressing out Ranbir Kapoor, Mandana Karimi, and Arvind Kejriwal.

The actor’s personal life is on a high – his rumoured fairytale romance with Katrina Kaif has kept the gossip mill running, making him relevant in the filmy duniya even while his films aren’t.

Bas bahut hua Tamasha, he desperately needs a hit and it all depends upon his next film where he stars opposite his ex-girlfriend. Ironically, his last hit was Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani which also starred ex Deepika. (Ahem)

Bahut stress hai!

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Mandana Karimi

Find out what’s stressing out Ranbir Kapoor, Mandana Karimi, and Arvind Kejriwal.

It’s stressful to be a part of Bigg Boss house and if you are Mandana Karimi then heaven help you. Imagine the stress the Iranian beauty has to undergo everyday, having to converse in slow, broken Hindi – all the while courting controveries. Ah, the stress of crying in every episode while still struggling to look like a stunner.

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Arvind Kejriwal

Find out what’s stressing out Ranbir Kapoor, Mandana Karimi, and Arvind Kejriwal.

He is gotta be one of the most stressed out Chief Ministers. Come on, the man not only has to sort out his party, which is buried under a pile of rubbish, but also has a city to take care of. When he’s not dealing with the dengue epidemic, he is fighting it out with the Lieutenant Governor of Delhi, Najeeb Jung.

But this is nothing. If previous winters have taught us anything, what will stress out Mr Mufflerman the most will be surviving the cold without falling sick (cough cough).

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Mumbai Police

Find out what’s stressing out Ranbir Kapoor, Mandana Karimi, and Arvind Kejriwal.

Cops are always on duty and if you happen to be a part of the Mumbai Police then you are so busted. It’s been a stressful year for the men in khaki. It started with Sallu Bhai’s controversial hit-and-run case that had them perambulating the courts. Then the Sheena Bora murder mystery burst on the poor souls out of nowhere. Just when they had exited the prime time television slot, underworld don Chhota Rajan decided to make a dhamakedar entry. Don dropped a bomb on Mumbai Police – accusing the force of perpetrating atrocities on HIM (ahaa!) and alleging that some mamus in uniform are working with the baap of all dons, Dawood Ibrahim.

May the force be with you!

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