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International Cat Day: ‘Felines of New York’ Give Us Life Lessons

HONY but with cats, this is the most delightful thing you will read today.

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(On the occasion of International Cat Day, here is a piece from The Quint’s archives in celebration of feline wisdom)

Everyone and their internet-savvy grandmother knows about Humans of New York. Brandon Stanton’s photoblog, featuring street portraits and brief interviews of the inhabitants of New York, became truly viral globally with his 50-day ‘world tour’ spanning twelve countries. The statistics are very impressive: 14.6 million followers on Facebook and 3.7 million on Instagram.

Of the many, many spin-offs and copycats and homages that HONY has inspired, comedian Jim Tews’s Felines of New York is probably the best. Not only are the cat stories, a perennial internet darling, extremely funny, they also function as a brilliant counterpoint to some of HONY’s characteristics. The sentimental, often formulaic narratives of HONY are wonderfully undercut by the playful, mocking tone of these cat portraits. So, without further ado, we present to the gentle reader the felines of New York:

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“Sometimes when I close my eyes, I imagine I’m sitting somewhere fantastic and amazing.”

“Where?”

“I imagine I’m sitting in the sun, in a box full of boxes.”

Margot, Park Slope

“Never settle for only dry food. If you’re patient enough, you’ll get some wet food. That’s been my experience, anyway.”

“That’s really great life advice.”

“Sure, I guess if you want it to be. I was actually referring to food though.”

Lisa, Harlem

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“I had kind of a quarter life crisis last year where I was like, comparing myself to a lot of other cats my age who seemed to have a lot more going for them . Then I realised, you’re only given nine lives and if you spend time comparing yourself to others, you’re going to waste them. Thats’ why I’m fine just sitting here most of the time.”

Phoebe



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“Rent is crazy expensive here in New York. I mean, that has zero effect on me since I’m a cat and have no real concept of currency. But still, it sounds like a lot of people are upset over it. Being a human seems pretty frustrating in general.”

Hilary


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“I decided a long time ago that I don’t want kittens. A lot of other cats judge me for it, but kittens would just get in the way of my career.”

“What career is that?”

“I’m in the walking around and laying on stuff business. It’s insanely competitive.”

Orange, Park Slope


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“I was a mess in my early twenties. I spent a lot time in places I didn’t belong, with other cats who were no good for me. Picking the scraps off fishbones on a garbage can lid. That was my rock bottom.”

Michelle, Harlem


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