I flunked in my 12th Boards. Me, coming from a Maithil brahmin, 'paida hotey hi ladka hua toh engineer banega ladki hui toh doctor' family.
I was almost abandoned by everyone around me.
Everywhere I went, there was a constant cloud of shame hanging around me. Neighbours loathed me, parents hated me, and the my mother wouldn't go a second without cursing her womb for carrying me, a failure, for nine months.
My family didn't understand me. They didn't understand that brainwashing a kid into taking up Science stream for a better prospect in the future does exactly that.
People Acted Like I had Committed a Crime
I will be dead honest. I am an intelligent dude. I failed because I would do anything to avoid studying. The results spoke for it. I failed.
Now, I wasn't depressed because I knew this was my doing. I just didn't want to study what was piled on me. I hated for my parents to be ridiculed by the relatives and others around, so I kept at it. But it showed, the unpreparedness.
The results came out and it was out there for the world to see
What irked me, or rather, made it very amusing, was the fact that rather than it being my world that came crashing down (I was pretty cool about it. I knew what I had written in the papers after all), everyone else was shocked. They acted like I had committed a crime.
None of that happened. Nope. I decided that I will study a bit, cheat a tad, and pass my compartments. Kaisa bhi karkey. Tuition masters who charged as high as 1500/hour were summoned.
They realised in a day that I simply loathed the subjects I was made to study. So to make sure my parents got their money’s worth, they taught me innovative ways to cheat, or put a word to the invigilator in my centre, so that they let me cheat.
The world conspired to make sure I passed. I swear to god, the pressure was so much that some dude told me that he could get me the question papers a day before the exams from CBSE itself, and I needed to pay 25k a pop.
It’s OK to Not Like What You’re Studying
Cut to today, the 26-year-old me runs a small design/advertising setup, and has worked with the biggest names in the business. I have marketed start-ups, Production-houses, Film Festivals, Feature Films, Restaurants, Hotels, Actors & Directors. I make a pretty decent living, and so do the people that work with/for me. So, I pay salaries, Me! The dude who was scheduled to sit in a grocery store or a telemarketers chair.
Don't get sad. Especially if what you are studying simply doesn't appeal to you. It is OKAY to not like what you study. It is just a passing phase.
Don’t kill yourself over it. Don’t harm yourself over it. Don’t go screaming at the top of your lungs to your parents, telling them off, and blaming them for your failure. It will pass. I promise it will.
No One Cares About Your 12th Marks After a Year
No one cares about your 12th marks after a year. ABSOLUTELY NO ONE! Trust me. I have interviewed people and I don't understand the ones who write their 12th marks in their resumes.
That doesn't define the skills that you carry. All of us have a specific set of talent. Yours wasn't getting a 90% in your 12th boards. Be thankful that at least you know that much.
Google about things that you think will make a legit career for you. Ask your friends. talk to your girlfriend/boyfriend, but please don't think that you’re a failure, or that a bad result is the end of the world.
Your parents scream at you because they paid that tuition fee. And it does takes a lot of effort, making money. Avoid what they say. All the bad things.
Channelize yourself into finding out that one trade you think you could master and do it. If you fail at that, try again, or find something else that’s caught your fancy, but live. Be willing to find what you might like doing.
Life is beautiful if you want it to be. Give it a chance. Don't hurt yourself, physically or emotionally. I am saying this as someone who rode the same wave that you are right now. It will be fine. Trust me.
(This was originally posted on Facebook, by the author, and has been edited for length)
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