‘Veere Di Wedding’: Dial M for Marriage

Veeri Di Wedding has arrived and I swear I was all excited ever since I saw the trailer.

But...

Shaadi Brouhaha

When Veere Di Wedding’s trailer came out, one dialogue really hit us.

Saala, jab tak BC gale mein mangalsutra nahi lagta, tab tak life complete nahi hai.

But sadly, the entire film boils to marriage only. One of the Veeres is desperate to get married, even if it means meeting douchebags through a matrimonial site who have a problem with her for being a divorce lawyer. The second elopes with a foreign lover and now has a kid. The third is a divorcee who’s being blackmailed by her husband because he caught her “j**king off”. The fourth Veere is the one whose wedding you have been invited to but she can’t make up her mind all through.

The only overarching conflict in each of these women’s life revolves around marriage and just the mention of the word. But come to think of it, I feel like we have so many more problems in life to deal with. Let me mention one: career and the constant need to strike a balance between personal and work life. Because really, how many women get to spend most of their time in a fancy villa in Phuket or driving a swanky red Bentley around Delhi?

Heroine Hai, Sunder Toh Lagegi Hi

Women who have looked lovely right after a breakup, raise your hand please? Or woke up with a terrible hangover looking gorgeous, shout out now? *silence*

Ya, well. If you ask me, looks like the costume and makeup department worked really hard on the set because these four Veeres look outstanding, fantabulously beautiful all the time and honestly speaking they could just be fashion stylists for A-list people. No wonder the story was lost because...guess who was focusing on other ‘important’ things that sell a movie.

Zara Zara Stereotyping

Except for Sumeet Vyas' character, who's not portrayed as a typical dilli ka launda and Vivek Mushran's character who isn't in-your-face gay (but his partner is, or else how will our dim audience understand that he’s gay?), every character is stereotyped.

Swara’s character gulps whiskey like water, smokes like a chimney and is obviously the one who curses the most in the movie. And was I the only one who thought she was purposely given a ‘quirky’ wardrobe?

Sonam’s character is a lawyer and what should a lawyer be wearing? SUITS, and of course a woman wearing a suit looks like a “lesbo”. No wait, that’s not me saying that, Sonam’s mommy dearest, Neena Gupta, says it.

Also, how can you not talk about a woman’s weight in a movie about women, that too a woman who gained weight after a child? Shikha Talsania’s character is a tad bit worried about the wight she put on after pregnancy and her friends ‘don’t’ make it a point to body shame her.

“Stop body shaming, okay?”

Hey, DYK – Women Work Too

Except for Sonam’s character, we know nothing about what these women do in life and how they earn a living to wear fancy clothes and makeup we talked about earlier. Kareena lives in Australia and does what? We have no idea. She’s been living there for about 10 years but I don’t think Indians get paid to live in Australia... Or do they?

By now I am thinking, maybe I know what Swara’s character does. She spends her dad’s money. And well, we understand it’s Shikha’s charcter’s choice whether to work or not after a baby...but how are they so chill in life, with nothing to go back to?

Let's Smoke, Drink, Cuss and Be Merry

Pretty much explains what the film is. And sure this is not a ‘chick flick’. This is a ‘coming back at d*ck flick’. Wasn’t Pyaar Ka Punchnama spiced up with similar elements? It happened to be a success at the box-office.

My tiny problem here: These women don’t look comfortable with the characters they play. For example, Sonam tries hard to curse but it sounds SO out of place. Swara fails to convince the audience she’s a smoker. Then Sonam spoils it further by asking for a drag because her matrimonial match ditched her. Yes, we do smoke, drink, curse...but is that all?

Bottom line, I didn’t sign up to attend a wedding that had cuss words and plots thrown in for fun that did not make me laugh.