6 Reasons Why Jack Ma’s ‘669’ is Just Not Doable

Jack Ma, my maa won’t appreciate your 669 advice.

At work, we emphasise the spirit of 996. In life, we should we should follow 669.

Jack Ma, Founder of Alibaba

The contradiction in that statement though.

Well, ever since Jack Ma said this, he’s thrown a gazillion people in a tizzy about how to handle 669 and 996.

For those of you who don’t know what I am talking about, let me explain.

996 means work from 9 am to 9 pm six days a week. 669 means sex for six days, six times with endurance being the key.  

All I want to ask Jack Ma — What have you been smoking?

1. Biologically, it could be a little difficult, don’t you think, Jack Ma?

While women can enjoy multiple fake orgasms, it might be difficult for men. Remember how Ross from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. kept boasting about the night of five times? It’s quite unreal.

2. Are you, Jack Ma, taking into account the time I waste in a day to travel to and back from work?

Unless you’re suggesting I fly to work and fly back because honestly, the traffic kills me most of the times and if you’re suggesting I take local transport and still achieve this...this man hasn’t seen the real world.

3. Jack Ma, are you suggesting people have multiple partners?

Because, honestly, I think it’s next to impossible to achieve this with your partner if both of you have jobs and times don’t match.

4. Energy, stamina...could be the real issue here, don’t you think?

So you know I thought about it and I really thought about it... and then I ran out of thoughts because of the lack of oxygen in my brain because my 26-year-old body can’t even climb two flights of stairs without panting and he’s suggesting sex six times a day for six days after working 12 hours from 9 in the morning to 9 in the night...I’m sorry. You lost track of that sentence? So did I.

5. Hey, Jack Ma, you know women work too?

Just saying, you know women have jobs too and don’t you think they have a say in this? What if they don’t want it? You have already sparked the whole ‘gender harassment’ debate with your comment. And then you went on to suggest “endurance” as the key to this 669 way of life. According to a report, you also said, “The key to a happy marriage is to make good use of ‘ding ding’.” I mean, what?!?

6. Sex is such a taboo in India!

And when you are married, the helicopter parenting doesn’t stop and there are legit cases of married couples not getting ‘quality time’ because ‘mummy ji’ is always hovering on their heads. And single people following this? Oh my god, don’t even get there.

Care to explain how we can make do with both 669 and 996 with all these points in mind, Jack Ma?