7 Desi Things You Will Miss Doing If Driverless Cars Come To India

Why we don’t want Tarzan the Wondercar on our roads!

With Google’s Waymo launching self-driven cars on public roads, we know that fully automated cars won’t remain a sci-fi plot for too long. Especially with new age technology giants like Tesla, Google and Uber investing big bucks in the market.

But can you imagine Indian roads with driver-less cars? Somehow, it feels almost blasphemous to do so, no? Taking away the human factor from behind the steering wheels is almost like taking away the milk from chai – it’s not really necessary, but you can’t just do without it.

We can give you seven reasons why we Indians wouldn’t welcome self driven cars with open arms, especially if it were to function properly.

Who'll Say 'Jaanta Nahi Mera Baap Kaun Hai'?

Imagine Delhi streets without hearing this (in)famous phrase. But if there are no drivers, then what would happen to all the rash driving, jumping signals, drunk driving, and lastly, the unnecessary show of bravado.

We’ll loose so many opportunities to use this line!

Salman Bhai Kisse Blame Karenge?

Fans of Sallu Bhai would ban the damned self-driven cars fo sho! Agar driver nahi hai toh bhai ko kaun bachayega?

One Less Reason To Discriminate Against Women T_T

Without women behind the steering wheels, we would be deprived of blaming them for being ‘inherently’ bad at driving or commenting on their navigational skills.

Haath Dikha Ke Rasta Kaise Cross Karenge?

Pedestrians would end up feeling like the Congress Party after the 2014 elections: stripped off the power of the ‘Hand’.

Haath dikha ke voters to kya, traffic bhi nahi rukega. Crossing the road mid-traffic when the light is green is a very desi right that one should not take away from us.

Traffic Police Ke Monthly Bonus *cough* Bribe *cough* Ka Kya Hoga?

Imagine not being able to tell what time of the month it is from the swarm of cops at every intersection! For all practical purposes, last week of every month the presence of traffic cops doubles at the signals (Mumbaikars can ascertain).

This familiar sight would become an urban legend if autonomous cars were to become a thing. There won’t be any human to jump the lights and pay to avoid a challan.

What’ll Happen To Driving License Wale Brokers?

Ab driving license dilane wale broker ka kya hoga? When the long queues at RTO vanish, how would dalal uncle earn that extra cash?

How Will We Write The Next Bhagvat Geeta?

Fully automatic cars were to invade our streets in future, you can just forget about repartee between a Krishna-like driver while being an Arjun-like passenger exchanging worldly knowledge, later to be documented for generations to come.

If you don’t get the connection then let us remind you that all the gyaan that Bhagvat Geeta has to offer us was actually what Lord Krishna imparted on Arjuna before the battle of Kurukshetra. All while being Arjuna’s sarathi – in other words the driver of his chariot.