Films that inspire conversations are always important, and it's especially refreshing to see a movie that is unabashed about themes like female sensuality and the community women need and find in this world. Thank You for Coming, directed by Karan Boolani and produced by Rhea Kapoor and Ekta R Kapoor and starring Bhumi Pednekar, Shehnaaz Gill, Dolly Singh, Kusha Kapila and Shibani Bedi in key roles, is exactly that.
The film explores patriarchal notions, social conditioning and themes like marital pressure and female desires. Apart from making me applaud the creators for coming up with a film that is bound to make you stop and think, what I also loved is that they do not take a preachy approach.
Thank You for Coming is the need of the hour - it's unapologetic, it sparks conversations and it's a film that is sure to age well. Writers Radhika Anand and Prashasti Singh have weaved the themes effortlessly in this feminist comedy.
Here are some things that I have loved about the film that aims to empower women.
'Thank You For Coming' Gives Women The Space to Define Their Lives
For decades, a woman's worth has been attached to her relationships – whether she's dating someone, why she isn't dating someone and the ultimate question - when will she get married? By placing importance on the relationships a woman is in, her individuality rarely gets space and isn't celebrated at all.
'Thank You for Coming' gives its women this space – to be individuals in their own right, who have the agency to define their own relationships and their goals.
Owing to this lifelong conditioning, women often equate their happiness to getting married and having a child, and society tends to emphasise these milestones as markers of a fulfilled life. The film endeavours to change this mindset.
Kanika Kapoor (Bhumi Pednekar), a woman in her 30s, is struggling to find her "Veer Pratap Singh." Her journey highlights how society conditions women into believing that being 'attractive' to men is a form of validation.
This creates crushing pressure on women, who make themselves believe that marriage is the end goal. The film shows that happiness can be found in various aspects of life, including personal relationships, fulfilment in careers, being in a healthy relationship with yourself, personal growth, among many other things. Your happiness should not be dependant on adhering to societal expectations.
Define your own happiness, don't let the society dictate it, is the message of Thank You For Coming.
Kanika is born to a single mother (Natasha Rastogi), a gynaecologist, out of wedlock. Dr. Kapoor made the decision to not marry Kanika's biological father, knowing well that it does not align with her idea of happiness she has envisioned for herself. Despite facing criticism by her mother and the society for her unconventional choices, Dr. Kapoor is unfazed by the judgement and expectations of "what's right and what's wrong".
The emphasis on the importance of making a personal choice, to paving your own path and challenging the notion that there is a "correct" way to live, according to society's standards, is commendable.
Let's normalise choosing our happiness.
To not meet the same 'fate' as her mother (cue conditioning), Kanika begins dating from a young age in an effort to find her 'Prince Charming', but after multiple failed relationships by the time she's 30, she admits to her best friends, Pallavi (Dolly Singh) and Tina (Shibani Bedi), that she has never had an orgasm.
It is rare for a film, especially one as mainstream as this one, to openly speak about women's sexual pleasures. Forget films, how often do we talk to our partners about each other's needs and desires?
Films, and often conversations in real life, centre around male sexual pleasure, putting women's desires on the back-burner. As women in India, don't we also feel the pressure to keep these topics under wraps?
Orgasm in the film is a metaphor for happiness. If you aren't happy with who you are, if you aren't confident with the person you have become and continue chasing things, only because you need to "tick-mark" things on the list of 'societal expectations', actual happiness will remain woefully out of reach.
The best way to reach the big O is to first love yourself and know what makes you happy. Women, hope you are listening?
In one of the scenes Shehnaaz tells Kanika, "It's better to be with someone who loves you instead of someone you love." Kanika then decides to marry her friend Jeevan (Pradhuman Singh Mall) who has been in love with her for years. While you'd expect a parent to be happy about their child's wedding, Kanika's mother is the voice of reason, advising her daughter against getting married solely because she is expected to.
More power to mommy Kapoor.
As a working single mother, Tina (Shibani Bedi) is shown balancing her work and personal life, never doubting her role as a single mom, until an incident with her daughter changes how she feels.
Even though what happens is not her daughter's fault, Tina talks about how she has "failed" her child, highlighting the pressure she is under by virtue of being a single mother. This brings forth the prevalence of a mindset that if a child, especially one brought up by a single mother, makes a mistake, it has to be the mother's fault.
Kanika believes her mother isn't content with life because she is single, whereas the opposite is true. Dr. Kapoor is shown as a woman with agency, making decisions that enrich her life. Kanika is both projecting her insecurities and reflecting the way conditioning can often make us look at women who choose not to be married or have kids as living lonely, unfulfilled lives.
Thank You For Coming is a film that tells us to choose what fulfils us and helps us have a healthy relationship with ourselves, before anyone else.
The film further touches upon themes like people feeling threatened by women with agency, slut- shaming, body image issues, misogyny and the onus we place on women to right all wrongs, even the ones committed against them.
I am going to end this with a dialogue from the film "Choice hoti hain, kaisey banani hain, wasey hi banti hain zindagi".
The movie is bound to resonate with you at some point. Who wouldn't love a film that celebrates female friendships in a delightfully fun package?
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