The third season of Netflix's Indian Matchmaking follows a vivacious group of uber-rich Indians in India, the USA and the UK, as they try to navigate the treacherous waters of arranged marriage, all under the watchful eye of the one and only Sima Taparia from Mumbai.
Here are 10 honest thoughts that perfectly sum up the new season:
1. Is it just me or does her clients’ criteria list for a match keep getting more ridiculous with each season? ‘Tall’ tak toh phir bhi theek tha…now you must be “tall, tan and have enough hair on your head to make a top-knot” as Priya puts it. Yeh matchmaking hai yaa casting call?
2. But Priya’s list pales in comparison to Vikash’s whose standards are SO high that you might need to AI-generate his match. He’s adamant on wanting someone who’d be a Hindi speaker and then rejects a date because she was “too Indian” and had an Indian accent.
3. When Rushali insists on matching with a poet, Sima responds, “She doesn’t have to marry a poet. She can always read a book.” I mean…scriptwriters couldn’t have come up with this. My favorite genre of comedy: Sima Taparia’s frustrated responses to her clients’ high demands.
4. Speaking of...if you’re wondering if Sima Aunty got saltier this season, the answer is 100% yes. It’s already hilarious that the first candidate she picks for the self-proclaimed “top-knot appreciator” Priya is bald, but when she rejects him before even meeting the match, Sima says, “Maybe Priya needs to open a salon so she can be surrounded by lots and lots of hair.”
5. I strongly believe that Sima Taparia’s clientele should be studied. I’m sure no one will be able to forget the rapping Math teacher, Bobby: the human embodiment of an over-enthusiastic golden retriever whose criteria list includes a “mixed doubles partner”.
Yeh chal kya raha hai?
6. Sima Aunty (who herself has been criticized online for upholding casteist and classist institutions) calls out Vikash for preferring a Brahmin match. After hearing him talk about eating meat and drinking alcohol, she says, “He doesn’t know anything about Brahmins nor is he practicing. Then why does he want a Brahmin girl?” My personal favorite moment from the entire season is when this scene cuts to ‘Brahmin’ being cut out from his criteria list.
7. If you brave through the cringe, you might find some adorable moments between Sima and her husband (albeit ostensibly scripted). It’s cute how dedicated he seems to supporting her. Dare I say: Barbie Sima is everything…He’s just Ken.
8. On today’s episode of “How Detached Can You Be From Reality”, the delusional ignorance of an older Indian man confidently facing the camera and saying, “Wherever there is arranged marriage, it proves good.”
9. For me, the hero of this season is Arti. After being constantly criticized for not "compromising", she got exactly what she wanted AND without Sima’s help! Arti got so wary of Sima’s conservative and sexist style of matchmaking that she tried a dating app and not only found love but also got engaged. A true winner!
10. The ending to the finale episode is perhaps the funniest bit of the show. A client approaches Sima on behalf of her son and says that he'd like someone with “swag”. This sparks the following conversation that didn’t even make me laugh – it made me guffaw!
Sima: Uh, Gayatri…”swag” means what?
Gayatri: Someone who’s switched on.
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