Sunday Exhale: Baar Baar Dekho Review, Honest iPhone 7 Ad and More

Read on as The Quint gives you its hatke take on iPhone 7, the ML Khattar beer biryani controversy and more

Sundaying much? Catch The Quint’s compilation of its best feature stories through the week, and add some more sassiness to your weekend.

QDekhein: Baar Baar Dekho is Bollywood’s New Clichéd Love Story

This week’s big release Baar Baar Dekho is Bollywood’s newest cliched love story, writes The Quint’s movie ciritc Stutee Ghosh.

Siddharth Malhotra time travels from the present day to 2036 to 2047 – and what catches our attention are the sleek phones, smart cars and virtual reality. Not just this, Malhotra is also sporting enough to flaunt some wrinkles, disheveled hair and an unkempt beard. Katrina stops smiling as she ages and her character is given a firang mother so we don’t question her accent wali Hindi. Logic, you see! But the fact is that no matter which year we jump to in the foreseeable future, the components that make for a good film are unlikely to change. Great set design cannot compensate for a shoddy screenplay and no amount of rehashed super-hit songs can camouflage bad editing.

Stutee gives it a very generous 3 QUINTS out of 5.

QRant: Hey Mr Khattar, Just Stay Away From My Biryani!

Look at this very hungry man. All he wants to do is eat his biryani in peace, but no, our biryani police has to spoil his culinary experience… Arrey you know, na, that the Haryana Police has taken biryani samples for beef-testing which has made this man very angry.

Exclusive: You Have Got to See This Unreal Akshay Kumar

Almost all our actors have some quirks in their personality. Akshay Kumar has too, in his dialogue delivery and whatnot. But enough of seeing Akshay Kumar, have you seen his unreal avatar? Go watch.

Rockstar Papa Ki Rockstar Beti: Meet Kalki and Her Dad Joel

Kalki Koechlin’s father Joel raised his daughter to be tough. From a young age, she could change tyres, skii and fly a microlight. And although he doesn’t give her career advice, he does give her plenty of practical ones, like not to get pregnant before marriage!

In the World of Flavoured Condoms, Who Speaks for Female Orgasms?

So Durex played one on us, with its fake brinjal condoms. We all had our laughs, cracked a few jokes around phallus-shaped fruits, vegetables and condiments and basically got back to our lives. Because, after all, it’s no big deal, right? Condoms are flavoured – have been for certain parts of our sexually active lives – and they’ll keep curving and twisting, and you and I will keep living our lives.

Now, all this makes for a great option for a particularly fragrant round of fellatio – but here’s the thing: how many chocolate flavoured body butters and edible nipple gels do you see being advertised? Where is the supply for items that cater to the female O?

Here’s an Honest/Hilarious Look at the Superfast Apple iPhone 7 Ad

Here’s the video Apple doesn’t want you to see. Watch this honest Apple 7 advertisement to find out why.

Aisa Q? CD Wale Babu (feat. MufflerMan)

This is how MufflerMan reacted after watching Sandeep Kumar’s leaked “sex CD.”

Hidden Message in Surrogacy Bill: Beti ki Jaldi Shaadi Karvao!

So the surrogacy bill makes it impossible for single women to have surrrogate babies. What does that mean? That we marry early, even if we don’t find the right guy? Or do we stay in a sucky marriage just for the sake of ek chutki sindoor?

I have been through it, at the top of my career. This was a time when I had been through a few of the circumstances explained above, and decided I wanted a life with just “Baby and Me”. It’s indescribably heartbreaking to realise that  if you live alone, as a woman who broke all the “Indian” rules, you will fail the motherhood test.  (Sushmita, I was told, was “allowed” because her mother lives with her.)...I am sure the disappointment of failed conception, failed IVF, a failed marriage are heart wrenching.  But nothing beats the feelings of failure you have to fight when you are told you can’t be a mother because you are not a typical Indian woman.

Ravina Raj Kohli

What the Phallus? Why Bhutan Loves the D - It’s Dancers

The phallus, found commonly on top of doors and in tourist shops, is not a fertility symbol. Just like Thor’s hammer, this accessory is his superhero-esque power-stick that makes him impenetrable to embarrassment. People don’t think of these atsaras as a joke, but as a messenger of holy messages.

Catch the full story on the D’s of Bhutan here.

Move Aside VFX Heroes, Sonakshi’s ‘Akira’ is as Real as it Gets

Sample this. A young girl in Jodhpur watches as an acid attacker launches a vicious assault on his victim; she then tells on him — and when the latter comes at her for revenge, the fringe-haired, karate-trained Akira kicks the bejesus out of him.

As a result of her having poured acid on his face though (entirely in self-defence), Akira is held accountable and sent to a remand home for three years. Fast forward a few years, and the feisty Sonakshi (Akira) is all set to make the move to ‘mahanagiri’ Bombay to study in a liberal arts college and generally spread the sassiness around. But here’s the thing: Akira’s ability to kick butt is not venerated or displayed as extraordinary — it doesn’t include ridiculously VFX-ed jumps from six-storey buildings or crashing through fire and ice to emerge unscathed like a Teflon superhero.

Akira’s fist fights and karate kicks are children of circumstance, and hence, come across as the most natural things in an otherwise rather chaotic plot. And although it doesn’t make the cut as an out and out feminist movie, at least it tries really hard.