Even if it is All Talk, Could Sexting Mean Cheating?

Does sexting mean you are cheating on your partner, even when there is no sex involved?

When Rhea caught her husband Harish sexting a colleague, she obviously confronted him, and that’s when he told her that it “was an innocent pastime, and just virtual and not a real affair”.

Rhea feels her trust has been betrayed, even after her husband promised not to sext his colleague again.

Sexting is the act of sending explicit photographs or messages through digital devices.

The Weiner Gate Sexting Episode

In 2011, an image showing “the bulging crotch of a man in his underwear” was tweeted from US politician Anthony Weiner’s account. Though initially Weiner claimed his account had been hacked, he later admitted sexting several other women.

Weiner and his wife Abedin went through a “difficult” phase, at the end of which she forgave him for his “horrible mistakes.” The infamous episode was termed Weinergate and put a spotlight on how sexting affected relationships.

Does Sexting Qualify As Cheating?

While sexting outside a relationship can create trust and understanding issues between partners, many believe that since it does not involve physical contact, it cannot be considered cheating.

When in a relationship with his former girlfriend, Ayush Samar used to sext another woman.

It was like an opportunity which I did not want to miss out on. And since the girl I was sexting showed interest in me, I never considered it wrong

–Ayush Samar

But Ayush is also quick to add that he now looks at it differently.

Sexting is impersonal. If a person is sexting someone other than their own partner – without the partner’s knowledge – it amounts to infidelity. If the third person has no interest in the sexts and does not like it, it amounts to harassment

– Dr Narayana Reddy, Consultant, Sexual Medicine.

That a husband chooses to share intimate conversations with another person might affect the wife even more than the actual content of the conversation.

Emotional Detachment Often  Accompanies Sexting

A report on Net Addiction describes how emotional detachment accompanies most such interactions. “Meaning, when Anthony Weiner sent images of his private parts, this might have meant little about his feelings for his very present wife,” says the report.

But Dr. Reddy disagrees. “Why should I choose anyone over my partner for such intimate discussions? If you are unable to convey your emotions to your partner, there must be something wrong in your relationship,” he says.

Sexting could turn into an addiction, and this in turn can affect the quality of life. Visiting counsellors and undergoing therapy could help in such cases, signs off Dr. Reddy.