Why are Women Who Drink Alcohol Still Singled Out?

Why are women who buy alcohol still looked at with such judgement?

A couple of days ago, I was at my local wine store. I was throwing a New Year’s bash for close friends and wanted to ensure I got my wine and cheese pairing right. As the store owner, a connoisseur himself, helped me make the selection, I spied a lanky young man staring at me and my shopping cart. He had already made his purchase, hiding it in a brown paper bag. He should have left the store at least ten minutes ago, but appeared to have strolled into the wine section with the sole intention of checking out a woman purchasing alcohol. “Sharaab aur shabaab,” he muttered under his breath in a tone low enough for only me to hear it.

I ignored him, finished paying and headed home – all the while thinking about Suzette Jordan. The fact that she enjoyed an occasional glass of wine was used to tarnish her character during the trial of her rape case.

Women who drink are routinely slotted as sexually available or full-fledged alcoholics by most people. This is because somehow, our culture finds it inconceivable that one can enjoy alcohol in moderation. Therefore, if you are a woman who likes her drink you are presumed to be a behayaa-bevdi!

The Relationship Between a Woman and Her Drink

But the relationship between women and alcohol is more complicated than that. According to WHO’s ‘Global Status Report on Alcohol on Health 2014’, while the average Indian consumes 4.3 litres of alcohol every year, in rural India specifically, the average is higher at 11.4 litres. These rural consumers are mostly men and their poisons of choice are usually toddy, arrack and other local brews that are poorly distilled.

According to the same report, 3.3 million deaths in India were attributed to alcohol consumption. Those who don’t die make life miserable for their women and children. These men are heavy drinkers and alcoholics who often resort to violence. The rate of domestic abuse is high in rural India and many women report that that their husbands often steal from the family’s savings or sell their jewellery and other assets to pay for their alcohol habit.

This is why, most rural women are all for prohibition. In fact, analysts say that one of the reasons for high voter turnout among rural women in the Bihar elections was because Nitish Kumar promised to ban alcohol. This explains the cultural interpretation of alcohol consumption as evil.

The Gaon ki Gori vs the Sheher ki Ladki

As the Gaon ki Goris battle alcoholism, the Sheher ki ladkis have their own set of complications.

Some of them have to deal with sexism and right-wing religious fanatics even if they responsibly enjoy their drinks. I am still haunted by the images of Sri Ram Sena operatives dragging women out of a pub by their hair!

Sure, women aren’t saints and there is a generous number, who, like the alcoholic men, are certified talli-kumaris. These women have gotten behind the wheel in an inebriated state and run over pedestrians (Jahnvi Gadkar anyone?) – with one even knocking down a cop.

The question isn’t one of gender, however – or rather, shouldn’t be – but of the alcohol paradox. There are two very real sides to the alcohol situation in India.

For one, millions of Indians, both men and women, enjoy their drinks responsibly and are understandably ruffled by the culture of bans and the very real possibility of prohibition.

However, at the same time, one cannot ignore cases of domestic violence that are usually under-reported. (Also, be honest: don’t you read about at least one case of drunk driving every week?)

The Battle Against Alcoholism, Sans Gender

I think the solution is two-fold. First, we need to de-stigmatise alcohol consumption by promoting responsible drinking. People typically start experimenting with alcohol around the time they turn 15 or 16. This gives us scope to have sensitisation programmes in high schools and colleges about just what alcohol does to your body. How it affects your blood stream, your liver and your brain. How it DOES NOT help release tension or make your life “more bearable”.

Young people empowered with knowledge can make better decisions than those who are kept away from the mysterious forbidden fruit that alcohol becomes. They can encourage people around them to voluntarily set a limit and discourage friends and family from driving under the influence or initiating sexual contact with an inebriated person.

Second, alcohol consumption should NOT be treated as an excuse for committing any crime; domestic violence, sexual abuse or drunk driving. Unless there is evidence to suggest that a person was made to consume alcohol against their will, they should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

I practise what I preach.

So, for my party on New Year’s Eve, I hired the services of professional drivers to take my friends back home. Many voluntarily chose to crash at my place, so that they could partake of my world famous pancakes for breakfast the next morning. I’m not drinking more than two glasses of my favourite Chardonnay. The point simply is, to drink responsibly and enjoy oneself. And I think we did just fine.

(Deborah Grey is a communications professional with over 15 years of experience in journalism, public relations and celebrity management. As a freelance writer she focuses on entrepreneurship and leadership, sexism and gender justice as well as sex and sexuality.)