What If We Treated Men the Way We Treat Women?

Here’s a thought – what if the many sexist things said to women everyday were suddenly said to men instead?

The question is simple really. No frills and fancies attached – what if the world turned on its head and the things said to a woman were said to a man instead? No, no, we’re not implying catcalls and jeers, thank you very much (that’s very specific and totally not the kind of thing we mean). Also, feminist-haters could wink their way out of that one, insisting they hated ‘catcallers’ and ‘jeerers’ too.

No, what we mean is wider, much much vaguer than that. Less easy to condemn – or even notice – than the average catcall or the jeer. We’re talking of the hundreds and hundreds (thousands?) of unsolicited things said to a woman on a daily basis. These are sometimes so ingrained, so conditioned – that you’ll laugh at the ludicrousness of them when they’re said to a man.

And that’s just the point.

So what if a bunch of things (we picked the choicest ones that come our way) were said to a man instead? Here’s how silly they’d sound:

Are you changing your name? No? You are at least taking her last name and adding it to yours, right?

Yes? Oh, that’s fine, then.

Can you get home alone? Should I ask Sheela to walk you? She’s pretty broad.

I love that your wife doesn’t mind you not wearing the mangalsutra! She’s, like, sooo liberal?

You make more money than your wife? That’s so – refreshing.

(Unknown entity comforting you right after you’ve had the most devastating emotional breakdown), with a sympathetic pat and a – “That time of the month?”

How do you deal with leaving your children home when you come to work?

(At a car salesroom on expressing interest in a car): Sure. Is your wife co-signing the loan?

(At the same car salesroom): Are you sure you don’t want a nice little convertible instead?

You follow football? Your girlfriend must be so happy!

You did really well. I mean, among the men you were the best.

Do you get our point? Or must we drive it home with a few more un-funny Akshay Kumar gifs (we promise you, they get un-funnier with each bewilderingly sexist jibe).

If you couldn’t imagine saying them to a man (at least not without those complacent, ball-scratching guffaws), could you really sit back and say you’re okay with them being said to a woman?

Grow up, will you? And quit the gendering.