Kate’s Upskirt, Deepika’s Cleavage: You Never Learn, Do You, TOI?

In a disgusting display of sexism, TOI and a number of dailies, have focused on Kate Middleton’s ‘flyaway’ dress.

Have you also fallen completely hook, line and sinker for the royal couple’s royal tour of India? We don’t blame you. We’re a generally excitable lot and we’ve been gushing over the entire range of their activities – their adorable visit to the 93-year-old Britannia man, the very Lagaan-esque moments (with a Dilip Vengsarkar in the background), that weird line-up of Bollywood stars saying hello in some strange order… Er, let’s skip that one.

Point is, Will and Kate have been having a pretty heavily-watched tour.

Which was all great – till THIS happened. Right on the front page of The Times of India, there’s a rather important, politically-nuanced moment filmed in action as it ‘unfolds’ (pardon our French) – Kate Middleton’s dress flying up as she bends to place a wreath.

We’ll leave you with this highpoint of Indian journalism:

Let’s direct your attention now to a very specific part of the paper, shall we? Take a goood, long look a few inches above said photo. Notice how ‘The Times of India’ masthead is punctuated by two ladders – a man and a woman at the bottom of each, at equal levels? THAT’s gender equality. Oh, and perhaps you’d care to move your line of sight a couple inches to the right? There, in black bold, stands the declaration: EQUAL PAY DAY.

Here’s what I’m thinking. There must have been an entire edit meeting of journalists converged around a table, dissecting what needs to go (and what doesn’t) on a front page Delhi edition. Are you telling me NONE of those converged-around-the-table journalists announced: “Hey, tell you what. This is incredibly sleazy, raunchy and totally inappropriate. (Also, remember how the Deepika Padukone thing blew up in our faces?) Let’s try a photo of the wreath itself, shall we? That’s a pretty sombre moment.”

Clearly, not.

(P.S. Here’s a reminder of how the Padukone cleavage blew up in their faces.)

The ‘Marilyn Monroe’ moment was, of course, eagerly snatched up and circulated through the front pages and websites watching the couple like a hawk. Here are some other gems:

That’s Daily Mail:

That’s Mirror:

And, of course, Entertainment Online:

What’s wonderful is that originality really went for a hike, strolling through the cheerful lands of sexism, hand-in-hand with integrity. I mean, of course, no one thought of headlining the article as Kate and Will’s tribute to the slain soldiers of India.

Funny how, after denouncing one student row after another *cough JNU cough* declaring how one should be talking about our soldiers instead (because they’re totally related), NOBODY is marvelling at the fact that a Duke and Duchess just paid their respects at Amar Jawan Jyoti at India Gate.

No sir, it was “unfortunately a gusty morning” (TOI rued), “The Duchess ‘struggled’ to control her ‘flyaway’ dress” (Daily Mail keyed in) and – hold your horses! – Kate “was ABLE to catch the hem of her gown in time and SAVE any embarrassment” (The Mirror, capitalisation our own). Lucky her!

Because that’s the pinnacle of their visit – of a visit that also included cricket matches and warm, fuzzy Britannia meetings and countless photo-ops that we all salaciously fawned over.

Not that this is AT ALL a necessary injunction, but just so you looked at both sides of the disgustingly gendered coin, here’s a shot of dear Duke William. Also bending down as he places said wreath. Also having his coat tails fly up – presumably falling prey to the same pesky bit of wind. Tsk tsk.

He, of course, had no headlines dedicated to his unruly moment against the wind – as the same journalists didn’t feel the need to let out their breaths in collective relief that he’d managed to save himself from embarrassment.

And here’s your life lesson for the day, people. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a prince(ss) or a pauper, sexism is the world’s greatest unifier.

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