Dear Trolls, Could We Discuss Feminism Once You’ve Understood It?

To all the haters who respond ignorantly to feminist posts – you don’t hate feminism, you just don’t understand it.

I’ve begun to consider it almost inevitable. Have an opinion on how women aren’t the slightest bit close to a semblance of equality? Will be trolled. If not trolled in the conventional sense of the word (you know, good ol’ character assassination and that sort of thing), you will receive many ‘well-meaning’ suggestions from ‘friends’, pointing you in the direction of ‘pink taxis’ and an occasional Queen to drive home a non-existent point. What that proves I haven’t yet figured out, but I think I’m close – once I’m done going through the intriguing list of “look how these women take revenge on their men” videos that often find their way to me.

Feminism has helped make the world a better place for both women AND men, yet few seem to grasp the concept. We’re tired of having to swat away the regular arguments for being a ‘humanist’ instead of a ‘feminist’. (Believe all genders should be economically, politically and socially equal? Newsflash: you ARE a feminist.)

As a gender writer, I am more than accustomed to (albeit not in the slightest bit amused by) the following:

Why Aren’t You Talking About Oppression of Men, eh?

Er, one does talk about oppression of men – when it happens. However, you seem to forget that statistically, almost innumerable more women are subjected to violence and repression of one kind or the other. According to the UN, 120 million girls worldwide have experience forced intercourse or other forms of sexual violence at some point in their lives. If you understood how unimaginably horrifying that number is, you’d choose to focus on that yourself.

Plus, here’s something else you don’t seem to have comprehended: feminism seeks to trample the patriarchy – something that benefits everyone. (Think: progressive reproductive laws that help both men and women, trans persons finally allowed a chance to be themselves, paternity and maternity leaves that allow BOTH parents to spend time with their children… etc.).

Side note though, when one is focusing on an act of sexual violence against a woman (either in a piece of writing or a movie), perhaps you’d do well to NOT hijack the conversation like an especially petulant idiot? You don’t come across as mightily well-informed.

But Look at the Chivalry You Women Enjoy!

Are you talking of holding open that door? Or pushing in a chair? By all means, do that for everyone – it’s called good manners and never should be an emblem of ‘gentlemanliness’. That, in fact, is another sterling example of the patriarchy that yokes men too, that I was referring to earlier. I personally hold the door open for anyone that’s accompanying me. I don’t think dealing with a red-nosed friend with daggers for eyes, once you’ve slammed the door on their faces is a very nice thing to deal with, do you?

It’s Just a Harmless Movie/Picture/Book/

Hashtag/Joke….

NO, it is NOT. You think Salman Khan trivialising rape is funny? You think cinema glorifying the veritable ‘hunt’ of a woman till she says “yes” is acceptable machismo? You believe it’s alright if women you know have also cracked the “on your period, eh? *nudge nudge wink wink*” joke? I hate to burst your bubble, dear troll, but it isn’t. When you’ve internalised the societal order around you to such a degree that you refuse to upset it, that’s disturbing. What spurs the need to laugh uproariously and exclaim “pat gayi!” with relish at a screen, refusing to recognise the agency of a woman? What spurs the need to hide behind cowardly humour? Surely, you can’t be that afraid to have an honest conversation?