Sexolve 266: 'My Family Wants to Abandon My Queer Dog'

(Trigger Warning: Some questions could make you feel agitated. Reader discretion is advised.)

Sexolve is equal rights activist Harish Iyer’s Q&A space on FIT.

If you have any queries regarding sex, sexuality, or your relationship, and need some advice, answers, or just someone to hear you out – write to Harish Iyer, and he’ll try and ‘sexolve’ it for you.

Drop-in a mail to [e-mail].

This week’s Q&As are below:

'My Family Wants to Abandon My Queer Dog'

Dear rainbowman,

I may sound really crazy, but this is true. I took some time to muster the courage to tell you this… but as an animal lover I am sure that you will understand.

I have a dog that is homosexual. She is a purebred dog and I saw her with another dog, licking her vagina. The other dog was a stray dog.

My grandfather was walking my dog when he saw my dog licking the other dog and also behaving like she was about to f!@k her.

My family wants to throw the dog away as she was not only lesbian but also someone who had sex with a stray.

I first thought they were joking, but later I saw that they had spoken to my relatives to take my dog away. I feel like leaving my home to stay with my dog.

I don’t want her to go away!

My family told me that I should be a gay man to support a lesbian dog. They are angry and upset. I don’t know how to deal with this. I know I sound crazy as a 27 year old, but please listen to me. I am hopeful you will answer me. Please help.

Regards,

DogWala

Dear DogWala,

Thanks for writing in.

Dogs, like humans, can be of varied sexualities. That said, there is no test or sign in humans or animals for homosexuality.

It is rather sad that we humans take our biases and prejudices to the animal kingdom too. I am both ashamed and shocked at this disgusting behaviour.

Dogs usually smell and lick each others privates. This doesn’t mean they are straight or gay or lesbian or bi, it only means they are curious about the smell.

Do not abandon your dog.

Don’t allow your family to abandon your dog. If need be, please move out and stay independently with your dog. Animals have the power to love us back many times over

Much love

RainbowMan

P.S. Dogs > Humans

My Husband Wants Me to F!@K Him

Dear RainbowMan,

My husband wants me to peg him.

He always tries to feel random things up his arse and it is kind of irritating.

He one day licked my bum and asked me to do the same, I obliged. Then he had anal sex with me and asked me to do the same. I just couldn’t.

He tells me that he would have to go to a man to get this pleasure if I don’t agree.

I know he is kinky, but is he gay as well? I don’t see him fantasizing about men. But I do feel he has this one fantasy.

I am not small minded but I am a very visual person. I get impressions of him being f!@ked by another man sometimes. It is like a nightmare. I don’t know what I could do to make things better.

Could you please help me see sense? I don’t want to lose my husband. I don’t want to restrict him also. What should I do?

Woman-on-Top

Dear Woman-on-Top

What you shared is deeply personal, and I understand that it would have taken you some thought to write the same. Thank you for trusting in me.

Your husband has the right to all his fantasies. He has no right to assume that you will be a willing partner to all his requests. You are a person with a mind of your own, body of your own, and fantasies of your own

You may see eye to eye on some issues. You may disagree on some others. Same is the case with sexual fantasies – you both may not like the same thing all the time.

To gaslight you and to blackmail you by giving you a picture that he would be going to men if you don’t agree to peg him, is not the right way to deal with this situation.

I would suggest that you have a proper conversation with him in a non-romantic zone.

Sit with him and ask him what he wants from you and tell him what you agree to and what you don’t. It’s his body, he can decide what he wants to do with it, however If you are not comfortable with his idea of him having sex with men, you should communicate it clearly.

Love is not that easy. Relationships are not easy at all. We all make an attempt to listen to our partners and understand where they are coming from. If your partner loves you, he will have to make the effort.

Tell him what you feel. Listen to what he has to say. Define boundaries in your relationship. Define a cardinal set of rules of dos and donts.

Smiles

RainbowMan

P.S. don’t let anyone emotionally bully you to have their way.

'I Want to Change My Girlfriend’s Body'

Dear RainbowMan,

My girlfriend’s nipples are too small, I want to get her plastic surgery done to make it big. Where can I do that.

Desperate Boy

Dear Desperate Boy

Her body, her rules. She will decide what she wants to do with her body. You bother about your nipples and your little…… mind.

Get well soon

RainbowMan