STDs, Emotions & Sanskar Starter Pack for the Hook-Up Generation

In the age of hook ups and casual sex, how should millennials protect themselves against physical and mental issues?

(On Valentines Day, we are reproducing the story on how to keep yourself safe and healthy while hooking up or getting into relationships)

Forget Romeo’s eternal pining, we are a generation of instant gratification, and in case it takes too long, we would rather look for comfort elsewhere. After telling them to ‘Just Do It’ and ‘Move On’ for years, it was no surprise when millennials decided to apply the same philosophy to their sex life as well. What started as casual sex soon became casual sex with several partners gradually, pushing monogamy to the periphery.

However, before you begin exploring the territory of multiple sexual partners, here are a few guidelines to protect yourself against diseases and emotional hurt. They are all pointers for anyone with an active sex life, but they gain more relevance in case of more than one partner.

1. Bacteria Haye Haye

Unfortunately, your body has a lot of strings attached to its hygiene and small efforts on your part can go a long way in keeping the body healthy with an active sex life. The golden rule here is keeping yourself clean and dry.

There are intimate washes for both men and women easily available in the market. Make sure to invest in one. Another good investment would be to buy some towels, especially if you live in a part of India which is prone to humidity. Moisture means party time for little bacteria and viruses. Bring out those towels and washes and put an end to a dozen potential skin problems. #BacteriaHayeHaye

It’s also important to invest in good underwear/underpants. You may feel like a sex goddess walking around in a pair of thongs, but guess what else do thongs bring - yeast infections.

An airy, loose fit is the way to go for both men and women, along with giving them a miss when you go to bed. And of course, don’t be a chindi with your chaddis. Please discard old underwear (no, you don’t have to wait for perforations to appear). Ladies, it’s advisable to have a separate set for wearing during menstruation.

Hygiene is already a subject that requires attention. Throw in an active sex life, then add different partners to it and voila - you might be opening your body to more than you think you signed up for.

2. Say No to STD/Is

This seems like the natural progression from hygiene. The chances of sexually transmitted diseases and infections (STD/Is) increases manifold in case of more than one partner. The golden rule here is protection.

It can’t be emphasised enough, say Dr Rajinder Yadav, director, Urology , Andrology and Kidney Transplant, and Dr Apurva Prakash, Associate Consultant, Fortis Hospital Shalimar Bagh.

The best way to have protection is using a condom. Local hygiene should be maintained. They should also try to limit the number of partners as much as possible. Try not having such encounters when they are under influence of alcohol or drugs. In case any of the partner is already known to be infected, prior treatment should be encouraged before sex.

Dr Yadav and Dr Prakash

On the topic of how regular routine check-ups should be, the doctors add:

If proper precautions have  been taken while having sex,  there is no need to have regular check ups. But in case someone has not taken any protection or is already having symptoms, then he/she must see a doctor and the partner should also be treated simultaneously if infected to prevent further spread of infection. Infection like herpes are known to recur in patients with time so they should be treated accordingly.

For women, it’s also advisable to maintain a menstrual calendar.

Additionally, it’s important to pay attention to your body. Listen to it, pay heed to to what it can and can’t take or isn’t okay with. If anything causes discomfort or unease, make sure to communicate it to your partner.

Finally, I would like to encourage limiting the number of partners as much as possible to have the best of sexual health.

Dr Yadav and Dr Prakash

3. Sanskari Neighbours and Scandal

India is a sanskari country with sanskari people. If you are okay with judgmental aunties and uncles, go to town, my friend. However, make sure that your sexual escapades don’t get you kicked out of your accommodation.

It’s not an uncommon occurrence for residential societies to evict or completely ban ‘bachelors’ or ‘unmarried girls/women’ if they are found to be of “questionable character”. A “questionable” character will become more “questionable” if you have half a dozen different partners leaving and entering your house regularly.

It might take us a while to get there, we may have taken the baby steps, but we still have some distance to cover to reach the utopia of sexual freedom.

Be discrete, be safe and happy scandalising nosy neighbours all along.

4. Emotions and Self-Preservation

Once again, this point cannot be emphasised enough. Actually, push it to the top of the list. Your skin would heal, infections would one day die out, you may one day acquire the wisdom to buy new underwear on time, but a bruised heart would take way longer to recover, and would leave behind more lasting scars.

When you venture into the territory of what millennials fondly call “hooking up”, make sure your self-preservation is immensely high. It’s a pity, but in many cases almost nothing is entirely physical. Physical intimacy often ushers in emotional intimacy which may leave you vulnerable and exposed. It often leads to unhealthy power-struggles, dysfunctional equations and toxic relationships.

Be very clear about what you want from the equation, make sure to convey it to your partner. The moment you think the boundaries are blurring, you know which way to run.

Don’t hurt yourself, don’t hurt others, and while you are at it, have a good time.

Have more questions on sexual health? Write to us at [e-mail] and we will get experts to answer them for you.