Here's a cute thing my six-year-old nephew does – when he wants someone to stop talking, usually his parents instructing him to eat his vegetables or tidy his room, he 'boops' their nose with his index finger and says, "Pause!"
It's adorable and it's funny. Until you stop to think about where he gets it from.
He's trying to 'pause' the scene like he's able to online, a realm he's so familiar with, a place he 'controls' with these gestures.
Once considered the big bad wolf at the turn of the 2010s, parents are no longer asking if they should keep smartphones away from their kids.
That question has become redundant. There's simply no escaping it.
The world has moved online, and, along the way, parents have resigned to the situation too – phones, laptops, and tablets have become an inextricable part of a child's growing years from a very young age.
"Now, the question becomes, how much is too much? Where should you draw the line?" Mimansa Singh Tanwar, Head of School Mental Health Program, Fortis Healthcare, tells FIT.
The Rise (And Potential Fall) of the 'iPad Kids'
'iPad kids' is a term for children who have not only grown-up using smartphones and tablets from a very young age but are also hooked to them.
Interestingly, the connotation attached to the term, especially amongst GenZ (those born between 1997 and 2012), is a rather negative one.
Common stereotypes of the 'iPad kid' are that they are ill-mannered, cranky, have a low attention span, lack social skills, and lack creativity.
Ann Philipose, psychologist and couples and family therapist, tells FIT, there is some truth to this.
"Attention issue is a big one for sure. At such a young age, your brain is not equipped to deal with rapidly changing, overstimulating content."Anne Philipose
Other issues that parents are noticing are:
Delays in speech development
Difficulty with face-to-face interaction, especially with new people
Impaired sleep pattern
Reduced physical activity
Kids who are exposed to prolonged screentime at a very young age also tend to get hooked to it more easily, she says.
"Earlier this was something we only saw in teenagers, but in the last few years, I see it in primary-age kids as well. It's a big struggle."
A large-scale study from the US published in August 2023, among many others, has found links between prolonged screen time and developmental delays in fine motor skills, problem-solving skills, and personal and social skills in children as young as two years of age.
Another recent study conducted in India found that apart from cognitive and language development, it is also linked to a rise in the risk of obesity, sleep disorders, and mental health conditions including depression and anxiety in young kids.
It must be noted though, that these are early observations. Because it is still so new to us, we don't yet know the extent of the impact that prolonged exposure to screens has on a child's development.
"Even fully grown adults get addicted to smartphones very easily, so to expect any different from children is a tall ask."
(Photo: iStock)
Are You Losing Your Kids to Screens?
"I wouldn't be so quick to vilify the parents," says Ashlesha, a 38-year-old mother of a 10-year-old.
"When my son was an infant, I lived with my in-laws and wasn't working. So, I was able to dedicate a lot of time to Kartik. My own screentime was very low and Kartik, as a baby, was never interested in gadgets."
But then, she goes on to say, "Things changed when we moved out and I got a full-time job, and a lot of other household work on my plate too. This is when I started letting him the phone, mostly to watch videos on YouTube to keep him preoccupied."
Ashlesha says she tries to enforce strict deadlines of no more than 30 minutes a day, and make sure her son still engages in other activities as much as possible.
"But it's hard, especially after the pandemic," she says.
"All of his classes, and even his playtime went online. It was very difficult to regulate his screen time from then on."Ashlesha, 38
"Parents often express that they feel torn between having to succumb to it and restricting it, and feeling like they don't have a choice. Because it truly is really hard," says Philipose.
This is a conflict parents have had even before smartphones existed. In the early 2000s it was computers and video games, in the 90s it was the TV.
What makes the current situation concerning is that, for one, the age at which children are consuming content online is getting younger and younger.
Secondly, the portability of these smart devices makes constant access to them easier when you're at home, in the car, at a restaurant, in a waiting room, or on holiday.
So much so that a child sitting idle in a public space is a far stranger sight than one glued to a screen of some sort (as is the case with adults, to be fair).
Does the sight of a family at a restaurant chatting and having a good time while the youngest in the group is zoned into a phone or tablet make you double-take anymore?
"Once the kid is hooked, it becomes difficult to pry them away. Parents often complain that their kids are no longer interested in spending time with them or the family, going out, making new friends or playing outside."Mimansa Singh Tanwar, Head of School Mental Health Program, Fortis Healthcare
"It's like giving loads of candy to a child and saying don't be addicted," says Philipose.
'Children do as you do and not as you say.'
According to Ann Philipose, the real problem arises when the screens are being used as a substitute or stand-ins for parents and other adults.
"If the parents and other adults in the house are spending a lot of time on screens, kids are going to want to do the same," adds Tanwar.
She goes on to say, "You can't expect the child to just change overnight. It takes time, even if this means that sometimes you need to engage with the kind when they are being irritable and difficult. Slowly and steadily start to encourage them along to other fun activities to channel their energy."
Philipose agrees, adding, "You, as a family, have to be interested in doing offline activities together. If you create situations for it, I promise you your kid wants to spend time with you."
But, she goes on to say that you have to set the pattern for this at a very young age.
"If you've been doing your own thing and relied heavily on gadgets for the first 12 years of the kid's life, then at 13 you can't expect them to want to engage with you. At this point, they are no longer interested."Ann Philipose, Psychologist and Couples and Family Therapist
Let Your Kids Get Bored
Yes, the reason kids get immersed in the screens is because they provide quick shots of stimulus, something kids crave. Replacing this with other stimuli can help. "You have to offer them choices of offline activities that are as fun," says Philipose.
That being said, it's okay to not have your children occupied with something engaging and stimulating all the time too, say both the experts FIT spoke to.
"Let your kids be bored, it's part of growing up," says Tanwar. "Children got bored before smartphones too and they found ways to keep themselves entertained. "
Especially in the case of very young kids, "It's when they know that they have the option of a gadget and its within eye line that they want to reach for it," adds Philipose.
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