Remember watching a romantic scene on TV with your parents and squirming in your seat? Rewind to the time college friends dared you to buy condoms at the chemist and you tried not to erupt into nervous giggles as you looked at the cashier?
Even as adults, many Indians feel uncomfortable talking about anything related to intimacy, health and - well - sex!
And while India’s market for sex toys is valued at $228 million and expected to grow by 34% in 2019, there are many myths and taboos around sex toys in India, especially when it comes to female pleasure.
Today, online shopping means you don’t have to go to the trouble of visiting a seedy store in the back alleys of your local Burma Bazaar to buy a dildo or a vibrator, but we still need to talk about all the questions, myths, judgement and misinformation around sex toys.
Myths About Sex Toys For Women
Read on to learn the truth about the 6 biggest myths about sex toys for women.
Women Don’t Masturbate
Many people wrongly believe that women don’t need sex toys, because they don’t masturbate. While studies have shown that men masturbate more frequently than women, there’s no denying the fact that the majority of women do it too.
Masturbation for women is completely normal and healthy. Similar to working out or getting a massage, self-stimulation is a great way to relax both emotionally and physically.
Orgasms release the endorphins dopamine and oxytocin, which can improve your mood and create a natural high.
Plus, masturbation is a great way for you to explore your body and find out what feels good - the perfect recipe for a great sex life!
Sex Toys for Women Should Resemble a Penis
The clitoris and the entrance to the vagina have a lot more nerve endings than the less sensitive parts deeper inside the vagina, so a woman’s number one pleasure zone is actually located outside of the vagina: the clitoris, which is the most important pleasure spot for women.
Intercourse is great, but a woman's most sensitive nerves are bundled in the clitoris and sadly, it usually doesn't get stimulated by vaginal sex.
That’s why sex toys like small vibrators for external use are often the most effective, even though they are not phallic shaped at all.
A Sex Toy Will Replace a Woman’s Partner
Sex toys are not a replacement for a human being who can take steamy showers together, bring you flowers and reach for things on the topmost shelf!
Think of the best lover you’ve ever had. What made them so irresistible? Was it something about their body—their figure, their soft lips, their scruff, their scent? Were they a great kisser? A master of dirty talk? Amazing with their hands? Maybe you can’t quite name it what it was, but your chemistry was off the charts.
Regardless, it was probably something more than, “They had genitals and I had an orgasm”. Likewise, your partner likes having sex with you for a ton of reasons.
Toys are a fun addition to a woman’s sex life (and many couples even use them together to spice things up!), but they will never replace her partner.
Sex Toys Are Illegal in India
There is a common misconception that sex toys are banned for sale in India which is not true. There is actually no specific Indian law referring to sexual wellness products.
So in fact, there is no law stating that sex toys are not allowed in India. However, India has certain laws governing ‘obscenity’ which retailers have to keep in mind when selling sex toys in India. For example, there should be no nude images on the packaging.
Only Women with Sexual Problems Use Sex Toys
It is a myth that adult toys are only for people who have a problem in the bedroom.
While sex toys can help take the pressure off couples and have been known to help women achieve orgasms more easily, they are equally useful in spicing up your routine.
So you have nothing to lose except your inhibitions.
Sex Toys Will Stretch out a Woman’s Vagina
No. Just a firm and sincere no on that one.
Your body relaxes when you’re aroused, prepping you for whatever kind of sexual stimulation you prefer. Plus, your body is pretty elastic already.
Using a vibrator or a dildo doesn’t stretch your vagina out permanently the same way that getting an erection doesn’t stretch out a penis permanently.
(Balaji TV is the Co-Founder & CEO of Lovetreats.in. Balaji and Ute started Lovetreats.in with the vision to empower women and couples in India with their sexual lifestyle. Lovetreats.in is a sex positive movement where everyone feels included and inspired.)
(This is an opinion piece and the views expressed above are the author’s own. FIT neither endorses nor is responsible for them.)
(At The Quint, we question everything. Play an active role in shaping our journalism by becoming a member today.)