Sexolve is equal rights activist Harish Iyer’s Q&A space on The Quint.
If you have any problems, doubts or queries regarding sex, sexuality or your relationships, which you can’t seem to deal with, or need some advice, answers or just someone to hear you out – write in to Harish Iyer, and he’ll try and ‘sexolve’ it for you. Drop in a mail to sexolve@thequint.com.
This week’s Q&As below:
‘I Feel Like Giving My Ex-Husband a Chance’
Dear RainbowMan,
I was married for the past 10 years. Recently, I caught my husband red-handed with another woman and called it quits then and there. I never waited for any explanation, because nothing could justify such a heinous act. A couple of months back I signed my divorce papers. However, I re-established contact with my husband and he profusely apologised. Until this moment, I didn’t listen to my husband, I just screamed at him every time I met him. I had a change of heart ever since my conversation with him. I feel like meeting my husband and giving it a shot again. Am I standing against my feminist principles in doing so?
Confused Feminist
Dear Confused Feminist,
I am a staunch feminist too and feminism means to elevate women and other genders to the level of equality. Though I agree with you in toto — a person who has committed to a monogamous relationship deceitfully having clandestine affairs is insulting. But not speaking to someone who has cheated on you is not a principle of feminism. Not to the best of my knowledge. I believe every one who has committed a sin against us should be given a chance to be heard out.
I cannot advise you to pardon or forget, because it is your life and you can only decide your threshold. I can tell you though that I personally believe in the power of conversation and see great power in moving on from bad instances and focussing on good times.
Sometimes it is okay to give someone and our lives a second chance. But only you and you only can decide if it is really worth it to go back. Don’t be obligated to do so, and do so only if you think you could put your past in the past and not bring it up everytime. It is better to not have a relationship than being in one that’s filled with bitter memories.
Hope you make the right decision for yourself.
Hugs
RainbowMan
‘I Have an Enormous Penis & Ill-Timed Erections Cause Embarrassment’
Dear RainbowMan,
I have a tilted penis. It tilts to the left. It is 7 inches long which I believe is too long for a man of 20. Also, I sleep without an underwear. Yesterday I opened the door to my relatives with my boner prominently stiff. I wanted it to go away and it wouldn’t go away. What do I do to avoid such situations?
Tilted Love
Dear Tilted Love,
It is natural for the penis to tilt a little. And I don’t think 7 inches is “too big”. However, length is relative.
Well, I guess every man knows how embarrassing it could get when you have a boner all the time and is so visible. While one may choose to sleep without an underwear, it is advisable that we slip into a pair of clean underwear the moment we wake up or expect someone home. An underwear, a tight one, restricts movement of the penis and allows you to adjust the penis so as to keep your big-biggie in control and hidden from the world.
Smiles
Rainbowman
(The copy of the text and the location has been edited to protect the identity of the person. You can send in your questions to sexolve@thequint.com)
(Harish Iyer is an equal rights activist working for the rights of the LGBT community, women, children and animals.)
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