For those of you who have spent the better part of last year in a Maggi hangover and bingeing on burrito, it’s the time to reflect on the year that was. Here’s a look back at the most outrageous, ridiculous and totally laughable health traps which seemed legit (like the Paleo diet) but were totally bunkum. Let’s get the ball rolling and cut through the hype around popular health trends of 2016:
1. No ‘Diet’ Diets & Other Such Cleanses
Paleo, gluten-free, GM, blood-type diet, yada yada yada - diets would work if ‘clean eating’ meant devouring cupcakes and mopping the floor. I’ve tried the works and the only thing these extreme, unscientific diets cleanse is your will to live!
Enough with the crash diets in 2016, if your life is a constant battle between the love of food and losing weight then adopt an overall healthy lifestyle. Ghar ka khana trumps any bullsh*t diets any day, exercise for a minimum 30 minutes every day, not only will it knock off your weight - it will keep it away for good.
2. Acai Berry to Lose Weight
Long lasting dream bods take years of hard work and dedication. If a pill or a powder offers you a body like the Brazilian model in Garcinia’s ad in Rs 1500 for a month’s course - it’s a con.
The only way you can lose weight by popping acai or any other pill, powder is by actually walking up to the Brazillian rainforests to eat the magical fruits. Period.
3. Death By Bacon!
If you weren’t living in Antartica, you couldn’t have missed the over-the-top scary headlines on this one. Yes, eating large amounts of red, processed meat has been linked to an increased risk of cancer by the World Health Organisation but the research never implied that a single meat-based meal will kill you!
The actual risk is tiny. Eat in moderation and you’ll be just fine! This also reminds me of the time when science claims the sun would give us cancer. How can that be? The good ol’ sun gives us the plants and the tans.
4. War on Instant Noodles
Way back in June, we all observed two minutes of silence for Maggi. And then quite brazenly came Baba Ramdev’s brand of herbal noodles without the FSSAI’s nod! There have been complaints of insects, fungus and what not. Quite honestly, no packaged, processed food is healthy - no one has the right to eat a plate of any noodles and say, “I’m health conscious!”
5. Raw Pressed Fruit Juices
Juicing is not going to detox your body to a sparkle, it might just decay your organs and soul, instead. So cut the crap, juice alone is not going to give you all the nutrients and there is simply no need to burn a hole in your pocket for a cold-pressed juice diet (it costs Rs 1200 for one juice meal/5 days in Mumbai!). It’s true that cold pressing preserves most of the nutritional integrity of fruits, but if you really really want that, then why break the whole fruit in the first place?
6. Designer Water to Beat Regular Water!
You know there’s a type of water that’s better than all other waters? Yeah! It’s the fizzy water with natural fruit flavours that’s taking over the world! Those bubbles are legendary, don’t tell me you are third world enough to still be sipping tap water!
Ha ha ha! Sparkling water is as bad as fizzy drinks for your health. Okay, maybe a little better since there is no sugar - but why should you pay through your nose for stupid, expensive, nutritionally unnecessary waters made from asparagus, lime etc? Say yes to water - always!
So for the last time, don’t be fooled by things which sound ‘healthy’ and too good to be true - they’re probably not.
(At The Quint, we question everything. Play an active role in shaping our journalism by becoming a member today.)