Namaste Pahlaj Nihalani ji,
We’ve been observing you for over a year now and we think you’re suffering from a rare disorder called Cinematic Constipation: the disease of censoring too much.
We know you’re a busy man, what with films like Mastizaade, Housefull 3, One Night Stand, etc awaiting your approval. But it’s not just us and the film industry who are worried about your health, it’s also your friends from the ‘Bhakt’ camp, who have suddenly begun to show their concern for you.
Udta Punjab has stung you hard on your sanskari arse, and your fellow sanghis are feeling the pinch.
Adhaniye Pahlaj ji, it’s perfectly normal if Mowgli scares you. If James Bond’s philandering outrages you morally. It’s okay if you don’t agree with Anurag Kashyap’s dope story. But it’s no longer okay for you to ignore your action hero, Narendra Modi’s friends.
It’s time. Ab toh sun lo, please!
The unofficial spokesperson of the BJP has exercised his ‘Azadi’ and officially spoken. Nihalani, the nine-time winner of the Best Comic Actor Award, Anupam Kher is not amused by your unreasonable demands from filmmakers.
Pahlaj ji listen to what Anupam Kher has to preach about change. Perhaps you’ll learn a thing or two. And if you don’t, then you might just have to deal with certain other changes which will be distinctly less palatable. You know what we mean (wink, wink).
We’re not being presumptuous, we are only repeating what the ‘baap’ of your industry, Information and Broadcasting Minister Arun Jaitley has said. Well almost.
On Monday, Jaitley announced that movie certification norms have to be liberal and that “some very radical changes” will be announced over the next few days.
Still wondering what those are? We can hazard a guess.
Nihalani, you’ll know who calls the shots by now, won’t you? Hint: It isn’t you.
If you still refuse to listen to them, you’ll have to answer to Amitabh Bachchan. The veteran actor, who is apparently not aware of ‘the issue,’ was at his diplomatic (and mildly incomprehensible) best.
Don’t try and kill creativity. We all must have the freedom to create because we are in this field and all we have is our soul to create.Amitabh Bachchan
You gotta agree Pahlaj ji, you’re going the same unfortunate way as your buddy, Gajendra Chauhan. You do know, he’s the only one supporting you because the man has no friends. Yudhishthira put FTII at stake, earned his throne but lost the plot and his bhakt buddies. A pyrrhic victory, if there ever was any.
Now is that what you want Pahlaj Ji? You may just be left with Grand Masti, Ek Paheli Leela and Kuch Kuch Locha Hai DVDs to watch.
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