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Hrithik & Tiger’s ‘War’ Is a 2.5 Hour-Long Pointless Endeavour

War is directed by Siddharth Anand. 

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War

Hrithik Roshan & Tiger Shroff’s ‘War’ Is a 2.5 Hour-Long Pointless Endeavour

Did the makers really need to throw in the whole “desh khatre mein hai, terrorist pakdo (Our country is in danger, catch the terrorists)” angle just to make us drool over Hrithik and Tiger’s bulging muscles? From the Arctic Circle to Morocco we hop, skip and jump everywhere to keep an eye on our eye candy! That’s director Siddharth Anand’s plan for us.

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What stayed with me after War got over is the slow-motion entry of Hrithik Roshan. Throughout the film Roshan ensured that he holds our attention with his Greek God features. Sometimes from a ball of fire, sometimes from collapsing buildings, sometimes from rubble and sometimes even from the wreckage of an aircraft - Hrithik shows up all hale and hearty! Isn’t that what a hero is supposed to do? Of course! The other thing one can’t miss is when Tiger Shroff, bang in the middle of a fist-fight, pauses to tear up his t-shirt, reveals his six pack abs, looks satisfied and then returns a volley of punches. Bhai body toh dikhani padegi na? Of course that’s what heroes do.War is a very cute film that lets Bollywood heroes be. Thank you very much!

Writers Siddharth and Shridhar Raghavan do try to distract us with a screenplay that is perpetually on steroids. “Present day” flashes on screen twice. We also have “Six months ago” and “Three days ago” as helpful reminders, but what’s the point of all this when a “plastic surgeon” holds the key to everything? Enough said.

It all starts with patriotism. To prove who is the bigger deshbhakt. Agent Kabir (Hrithik Roshan) threatens Agent Khalid (Tiger Shroff) with a menacing stare because he is “gaddaar ka beta.” Then they team up till it seems like Kabir has turned rogue and then they take turns to confuse us! A Holi song comes in from nowhere and Vani Kapoor is suddenly remembered in the second half of the movie. Before we even begin to acknowledge her presence she becomes the collateral damage, just like the viewers! Ashutosh Rana is forced to do the heavy-lifting as the mission supremo. He is stuck in a room and is always on the phone. On the other hand, Anupriya Goenka - the sole female agent - dutifully delivers her three-and-a-half lines.

What about the action? Surely, that has some daredevilry. Ricocheting bullets, chasing cars, zooming helicopters - but it’s like revving the engine in neutral. It makes a lot of noise but remains stubbornly stuck!

1.5 Quints out of 5! Honestly, one could have stared at Hritik and Tiger’s life-sized posters and derived more pleasure than keep track of their high jumps in this two-and-a-half-hour long pointless endeavour!

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