Valentine’s Day is a great time to try something new. If you’re bored of being single, maybe a date will come along. But more importantly, if you’re unhappy in your current relationship, it’s time to walk girl. So on the ‘day of love’ this year, drop everything for just a minute, and think about the deal you’re cutting yourself. And if it’s anything that resembles these filmi situations, don’t fret to walk right out. #DumpTheFella!
1. Be the Queen Of You
If your boyfriend or hone wala husband has the habit of telling you what to do and how to be, that’s a red flag right there. When Vijay tells Rani over a hot plate of chowmein that she doesn’t need to pursue a career because “main hoon na”, or when he expects her to get his name tattooed on her forearm, I cringe. Everyone needs some loving guidance along the way, but let your opinions and actions be your own. Don’t let anyone curb your style.
2. Stalking Is Not Love
Bhumika Chawla goes through almost the entire length of Tere Naam (2003) being creeped out by Salman Khan, her on-screen stalker. But then, she accepts him when he has absolutely nothing left to give, not even his mind. Pity love can be tricky but if there’s a single bone in your body that says “girl, this guy is a creep”, just run for your life. If he owns you in his head to begin with, it’s only going to go downhill from there.
3. If He Makes You Feel Poor and Ugly
Are you dating a ‘price tag’? Or better still, someone who thinks he’s better than you? Well, this kind is really easy to spot. They’re too high on their own achievements to care about your aspirations, and perpetually flourish on a ground that’s higher than the rest of the world. It took an Aamir Khan to make Kareena Kapoor figure this one out in 3 Idiots, but now that he’s done us all the favour, get as far as possible from your ‘Suhas’.
4. If What He Really Needs Is a Mother
I loved everything about Wake Up Sid, especially the part where Aisha (Konkona Sensharma) has a frank conversation with Sid (Ranbir Kapoor) about why she would never date him. “I want a man, not a boy” she says. Now as stereotypical as that sounds, what most women really mean by it, is that they want someone who is as independent and his own person, as they are. For a little while, Aisha plays ‘mom’ to Sid - washes his clothes, cleans his mess, cooks for him and hears his sob stories patiently, despite being a working woman who has her own struggles. If your partner is needlessly needy and more dependent on you than you can bear, don’t put up with it, till he grows up.
5. He’s a Cheater? Run!
Slow clap for Karisma Kapoor in this Biwi No. 1 scene. Salman plays a two-timing husband who’s enraged by the thought of being at the receiving end, if the table was to turn. With cheating it’s simple. If you won’t do it, don’t have it.
6. If He Ain’t Proud, He Ain’t Worth It
When Shashi’s (Sridevi) husband jokes about her passion by saying “My wife was born to make laddoos”, it really broke my heart. He could have been the man that Amitabh Bachchan was, her encouraging co-passenger. But instead of pumping up her confidence to deal with a daunting situation, he constantly pulled her down, reminding her of everything that she can’t do. If you’ve felt that way around your boyfriend (or any friend for that matter), be sure to know that he’s not proud of you. You don’t need this, find yourself an ‘uplifter’.
7. Sirf Saree Mein Kuch Kuch Hota Hai?
Karan Johar admitted in his autobiography that his portrayal of Anjali (Kajol) in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai was a mistake. But I think the bigger mistake was Rahul (Shah Rukh Khan). He’s all buddy and bro with her in college, but when she suddenly turns up in her gushingly feminine avatar (long hair, chiffon saree and all that jazz) eight years later, he falls in love with her. If your ‘dude’ is not dude enough to love you for who you are, just walk.
8. Dum Laga Ke Bhaagna
Love comes in all sizes and if your man has issues with your weight, just let him go, and eat a doughnut in peace. Plain and simple.
9. Not So Dependable?
Are you dating a ditcher? Has he stood you up repeatedly, even in the biggest moments of your life? Geet (Kareena Kapoor) leaves home on a whim for Anshuman (Tarun Arora) in Jab We Met (2007). But he rejects her when she’s at his doorstep. If you’re dating an Anshuman, who runs at the first mention of commitment (be it any kind), he’s dump worthy.
10. He Doubts Too Much?
Is your Gopal the extremely jealous and suspicious sort? Does he lose it everytime you hang out with your male buddies? Has he ever tried to sabotage your bond with your guy bestie? If yes, then don’t be the Radha (Madhuri Dixit) of Hum Tumhare Hain Sanam. Gopal (Shah Rukh Khan) detests his wife’s childhood friend Suraj (Salman Khan), because he’s insanely jealous and presumes that they’re having an affair behind his back. It can be exhausting to prove your loyalty to someone on a daily basis, that too a guy who suffers from a my-wife-my-property disorder. Steer clear.
11. Pati Is Not Parmeshwar
I think Nandini Raichand (Jaya Bachchan) gave her husband Yashvardhan Raichand (Amitabh Bachchan) a good piece of her mind in Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham with her ‘husband is not god’ speech. Even if your boyfriend thinks he’s Amitabh Bachchan, or for that matter, believes that he has the upper hand in your relationship, show him that he’s in denial. He shouldn’t get to have the last word on everything and should certainly feel no sense of power over you. If he does, show him the door.
(At The Quint, we question everything. Play an active role in shaping our journalism by becoming a member today.)