ADVERTISEMENTREMOVE AD

For B’day Girl Sonali Bendre, It’s a Journey of Courage & Love

The year 2018 has been rather momentous for the actor. 

Published
story-hero-img
i
Aa
Aa
Small
Aa
Medium
Aa
Large

Sonali Bendre turns a year older on 1 January. The year 2018 has been rather momentous for the 43-year-old. The actor was diagnosed with metastatic cancer and has spent the larger part of the year in the US undergoing treatment.

ADVERTISEMENTREMOVE AD

She spent the last festive month of the year with her family in Mumbai for an “interval”, and bid 2018 adieu with a picture of herself and this message: “Throwback to my last blow-dry before I cut my hair. Now that my hair is gradually growing back.... Maybe I can look forward to another blow-dry in 2019! This journey has been immense, and has taught me so so much.... From being in awe of the body's willingness and capacity to fight and heal and recover to overwhelming gratitude to the people who have stood by me and been pillars of strength to being reminded of life's transience and that things come and go (much like my hair). Here's looking towards a healthier and happier 2019. Onwards and upwards... #SwitchOnTheSunshine#OneDayAtATime”.

The actor cut off her hair as part of the treatment around July last year, and was brave enough to record the stages on social media.

View this post on Instagram

In the words of my favourite author Isabel Allende, “We don't even know how strong we are until we are forced to bring that hidden strength forward. In times of tragedy, of war, of necessity, people do amazing things. The human capacity for survival and renewal is awesome.” The outpouring of love I’ve received in the last few days has been so overwhelming… and I’m especially grateful to those of you who shared stories of your experiences in dealing with cancer, whether it was your own or of loved ones. Your stories have given me an extra dosage of strength and courage, and more importantly, the knowledge that I’m not alone. Each day comes with its own challenges and victories and so for now, I’m taking this #OneDayAtATime. The only thing I’m trying to be consistent about is maintaining a positive outlook... literally #SwitchOnTheSunshine - it’s my way of dealing with this. Sharing my journey is also part of this process... I can only hope it reminds you that all is not lost and that someone, somewhere understands what you’re going through. 🤞🌞 Thank you @tomoarakawa for making this a chic transition from long to short!

A post shared by Sonali Bendre (@iamsonalibendre) on

In fact, she even set a precedent by sharing plenty of pictures with her head completely shaved - something not many women - celeb or otherwise - would dare to do. She wrote:

Over the past couple of months, I have had good days and bad ones. There have been days when I’ve been so exhausted and in so much pain that even lifting a finger hurt. I feel like sometimes it’s a cycle… one that starts off with physical pain and leads to mental and emotional pain. The bad days have been many… Post chemo, post-surgery and the like… where even just laughing hurts.
Sonali Bendre

“Sometimes it felt like it took everything I’ve had to push past it… a minute to minute battle with myself. I got through it knowing that even though I was fighting a long drawn out, draining battle… it was one that was worth the fight.
It’s important to remember that we’re allowed to have those bad days. Forcing yourself to be happy and cheerful all the time serves no purpose. Who are we being fake and putting on an act for?”

View this post on Instagram

“I knew that if I allowed fear to overtake me, my journey was doomed. Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a different story from the one women are told. I decided I was safe. I was strong. I was brave. Nothing could vanquish me.” – Cheryl Strayed, Wild. Over the past couple of months, I have had good days and bad ones. There have been days when I’ve been so exhausted and in so much pain that even lifting a finger hurt. I feel like sometimes it’s a cycle… one that starts off with physical pain and leads to mental and emotional pain. The bad days have been many… Post chemo, post-surgery and the like… where even just laughing hurts. Sometimes it felt like it took everything I’ve had to push past it… a minute to minute battle with myself. I got through it knowing that even though I was fighting a long drawn out, draining battle… it was one that was worth the fight. It’s important to remember that we’re allowed to have those bad days. Forcing yourself to be happy and cheerful all the time serves no purpose. Who are we being fake and putting on an act for? I allowed myself to cry, to feel the pain, to indulge in self-pity… for a short while. Only you know what you’re going through and it is fine to accept it. Emotions aren’t wrong. Feeling negative emotions isn’t wrong. But after a point, identify it, recognize it and refuse to let it control your life. It takes an immense amount of self-care to get out of that zone. Sleep always helps, or having my favourite smoothie after chemo, or just talking to my son. For now, as my treatment continues… my visual focus remains to just get better and get back home. It’s yet another test… Student all my life… Learning all my life… #OneDayAtATime 📷: @srishtibehlarya

A post shared by Sonali Bendre (@iamsonalibendre) on

ADVERTISEMENTREMOVE AD

The actor has also been sharing her love and gratitude for the support she has received from her family and friends. Her son, Ranveer, who she made a part of her cancer journey, especially has become a huge source of support. Sonali wrote in a post:

“From the moment he was born 12 years, 11 months and 8 days ago, my amazing @rockbehl took ownership of my heart. From then on, his happiness and well-being have been the centre of anything @goldiebehl and I ever did. And so, when the Big C reared its ugly head, our biggest dilemma was what and how we were going to tell him.”  
View this post on Instagram

From the moment he was born 12 years, 11 months and 8 days ago, my amazing @rockbehl took ownership of my heart. From then on, his happiness and wellbeing have been the centre of anything @goldiebehl and I ever did. And so, when the Big C reared its ugly head, our biggest dilemma was what and how we were going to tell him. As much as we wanted to protect him, we knew it was important to tell him the full facts. We’ve always been open and honest with him and this time it wasn’t going to be different. He took the news so maturely… and instantly became a source of strength and positivity for me. In some situations now, he even reverses roles and takes on being the parent, reminding me of things I need to do! I believe that it’s imperative to keep kids involved in a situation like this. They are a lot more resilient than we give them credit for. It’s important to spend time with them and include them, rather than make them wait on the side-lines, not being told yet instinctively knowing everything. In our effort to protect them from the pain and realities of life, we might end up doing the opposite. I’m spending time with Ranveer right now, while he’s on summer vacation. His madness and shenanigans help me #SwitchOnTheSunshine. And today, we derive strength from each other #OneDayAtATime

A post shared by Sonali Bendre (@iamsonalibendre) on

And it is Ranveer whose “madness and shenanigans” helped her “switch on the sunshine” at this difficult time.

ADVERTISEMENTREMOVE AD

Sonali’s friends too kept visiting her and boosting her confidence.

View this post on Instagram

This is me. And in this moment, I am really happy. People give me strange looks when I say that now, but it's true and I'll tell you why. I am now paying attention to every moment, looking for every opportunity to find joy and #SwitchOnTheSunshine. Yes, there are moments of pain and low energy, but I am doing what I like, spending time with people I love, and feeling very loved and happy. I am extremely grateful to my friends, my pillars of strength, who at a moment's notice, arrived to be with me and help me through this. In between their busy schedules they find time to visit, call, message, FaceTime... basically never leaving a moment for me to feel alone. Thank you for showing me what true friendship is. #HappyFriendshipDay, ladies. Blessed to have you all in my life (including the ones not in the picture... You know who you are) @gayatrioberoi @suzkr P.S. Nowadays I spend far less time getting ready because I don't have to fuss over my hair! 😜#BaldIsBeautiful #FindThePositive #OneDayAtATime Picture credit: @hrithikroshan

A post shared by Sonali Bendre (@iamsonalibendre) on

ADVERTISEMENTREMOVE AD

Sonali, who’s an avid reader, has also started Sonali’s Book Club with Ranveer in the meanwhile.

After my son hosted his first SBC Live, he’s become more enthusiastic about reading, so much so that he has now recommended a book for us!

Here’s wishing you a very happy birthday, Sonali, and get well soon!

(At The Quint, we question everything. Play an active role in shaping our journalism by becoming a member today.)

Speaking truth to power requires allies like you.
Become a Member
×
×