Justin Bieber in Mumbai: An Honest Guide To The Concert

Just carry Rs 500 for the concert. You never know, there might be pickpockets around.

You better watch out (Make way for his stuff)
You better not cry (Aye Mammu, tough days ahead)
Better not pout (No selfies allowed)
I'm telling you why
Justin Bieber is coming to town

He's making a list (It’s a pretty strange one)
And checking it twice
Gonna find out if it’s done right
Justin Bieber is coming to town

Yes. Yes. Yes. The pop sensation Justin Bieber is not just bringing the Purpose World Tour to Mumbai next week, but also the simple and bare necessities of his superstar life.

Just when we thought there was nothing more obnoxious that could happen in this crazy Bieber world, his PR on Thursday sent another email of the things to expect at the singer’s concert. And just like his demands, the list of do’s and don’ts are equally, for the lack of a better word, ridiculous.

Let’s take a look at the 10 ‘honest’ things one can expect at the Justin Bieber Concert.

1. Please bring cash with you as ATMs are limited. (Sure, because we need to provide employment to pickpockets)

2. No re-entry is permitted for the entire period of the event. (Basically, there is no escape)

3. Please carry valid photo ID for verification of the ticket holder’s name along with your e-ticket print out. (Errr. Kaun sa valid hai? Aadhar or PAN?)

4. This is an outdoor concert so do dress appropriately and lather on the sunscreen. Closed, comfortable shoes are a must. (Dress sansakari)

5. Justin Bieber and his team of 25 dancers will take to stage at 8 pm for a 90-minute performance. (That’s the time your paisa is actually vasooled)

6. There will be a free supply of packaged drinking water to beat the summer heat. (Thank god, something free in the Rs 76,000 VVIP ticket)

7. There will be 15 TV screens installed in the arena starting from 52” TV screens to a 60’ wide LED wall for better viewing. (Kyunki ticket toh khareed liya but viewing is beyond your aukat)

8. Bajaj Electricals will install an eco-friendly art piece called ‘Tree Of Light’ which features energy saving lights mounted on a barren tree painted in sparkling white which encourages the habit of saving energy among the youth for a better future. (Samaaj service is a must to justify their unprecedented 600 moving lights and 300 square meters of LED displays)

9. A special disaster management company has been employed to handle any on-ground crisis. (This is only to keep an eye on Justin Baba and his offensive acts)

10. The security at the concert will be flown in from London and Dubai. (Just so you know, no jugaad tactics will work with foreign mammus)