Gurmehar Row Shows Social Media Is Making It Hard to Hear Anyone

We are struggling to understand how to handle free speech, especially on social media, without freaking out.

Here's a conversation I heard recently online:

Gurmehar: I think India and Pakistan need to move beyond our mutual hatred and the blame games we play that are costing the lives of many of our best people, like my dad.

Sehwag: I think it's very naïve to think it's that easy. India has adopted a non-aggressive posture but time and time again we've been sucker-punched by Pakistan. If we get idealistically complacent then we risk losing more good soldiers needlessly, which would be a tragedy.

Hooda: Beautifully put Sehwag. I completely agree with you.

Rijiju: Gurmehar, what you're saying sounds nice in theory but it's a terrible idea in practice. I think you're paying too much attention to the ideas of people who don't understand the grim realities of military strategy and geopolitics. I do not think your father would have held the same views, given the experience he had facing these realities.

But this is what many people heard:

Gurmehar: I think we should let Pakistanis kill Indians without doing anything about it. The lives of our jawans are worthless.

Sehwag: Shut up you dumb woman. All women are dumb. They have no right to speak

Hooda: Damn right. You prostitute. Women have no morals.

Rijiju: You should be raped for being anti-national.

I think social media is making it so hard for us to hear what anyone is saying. It's all lost in the din of insults and invectives.

I think the right wing is nuts to think that Gurmehar is an anti-national terrorist sympathiser. I think the left wing is nuts to conclude that Sehwag, Hooda, are misogynist bullies.

I think Gurmehar has the right to express her opinions (which I agree with), in a colourful, impactful way, using videos and placards. I think Sehwag has the right to sardonically disagree (a view I don’t share). I think Hooda has the right to laugh at the way Sehwag expressed himself (I personally didn’t think it was especially witty or intelligent, nor was I disgusted or appalled in any way).

We are a nation struggling to understand how to handle free speech, in particular on social media, without freaking out. To create the value out of the conversations that social media allows for, we need to separate legitimate arguments from illegitimate arguments.

Also Read: Viruji, Don't Silence Gurmehar's Idealism With Your Words: Tharoor

The fact that Gurmehar is the daughter of a soldier who was killed is irrelevant, and both the right and left are trying to use the fact. She is a citizen of India, entitled to free speech, and whose daughter she is adds no weight to her opinion. Nor does it detract from it. Her words are not automatically gilt laden, nor do they need to be guilt laden.

The fact that Gurmehar is 20 is irrelevant and both the right and the left are trying to use it. The right is trying to imply that she’s young and foolish and the left is implying that she’s young and so she shouldn’t be bullied. Both are equally patronising.

The fact is that she's an adult, capable of expressing her own opinions creatively online and capable of handling people vehemently disagreeing with those views online.

The fact that Gurmehar is a woman is irrelevant and both the left and right are trying to use it. The extreme right wing nutcases are threatening her with rape, and using sexual slurs to describe her, thinking it will shut her up. And the left is implying that Sehwag and Hooda must automatically be misogynistic because they disagreed with a woman.

Also Read: In Battleground DU, Politicians Spar Over Nationalism Debate

Well, actually it is possible for a man to disagree with a woman without being a misogynist and it is possible for a woman to disagree with a man without being a misandrist. A woman's views neither need to be discounted because she is a woman, nor do they become immune to criticism because she is a woman. The fact that she's a woman is actually irrelevant to the validity of her argument.

I have been taking time out of Facebook to reconsider my own posts. I have been accused (usually by the right wing) of spreading hate and seeing the hysteria and extremely triggered responses of both the right and left, I want to give myself time to review my old posts and see if I have been guilty of the same lack of balance that I'm seeing now.

The one thing I think that all rational people from the left and right can agree on is that all the guys who accused Gurmehar with rape threats should be tracked down and put in prison for a little while.

So that they can experience what it feels like to live in fear of rape.

(This is a personal blog and the views expressed above are the author’s own. The Quint neither endorses nor is responsible for the same.)