What Makes a Desi Olympic Fan: Google Searches & Shobhaa De Rants

We’re funny – the average Indian Olympics fan. Being us involves a ton of Google searches and sudden enthusiasm.

PV Sindhu and Sakshi Malik have been India’s shining beacons. (Photo Courtesy: Facebook/PV Sindhu/Reuters; Image Altered by The Quint)

There isn’t an iota of doubt that we are a crazy country. We are crazy about cricket, about religion and more recently we seem to have taken a deep but disturbing interest in cows.

But we are also deeply patriotic, because we celebrate Republic Day and Independence Day with much gusto. Or, because they are holidays and we can sleep in late. But things get a little awkward when it comes to the Olympics. We want to be patriotic but that involves a lot of Google searches. This is mainly because till a month before the Olympics, we are all going about our merry way not aware of our athletes, their accomplishments or even if we have a team in that sport.

(GIF Courtesy: giphy.com)

So, what’s it like to be an Indian person following the Olympics? Allow me to tell you.

Let’s take a hard look at the facts first. We only know Mary Kom because Priyanka Chopra played her. Before that, it was mostly Mary Kaun? We, sadly, didn’t know of Narsingh Yadav till we heard of the doping scandal which we knew only because of the drug jokes that Twitter cracked. We probably don’t know about our Women’s hockey team that qualified for the Olympics after 36 years. And that’s sad because Preeti Sabherwal and Komal Chautala are great players deserving more glory.

In the lead up to the Olympics, the Indian fan is, as usual, getting the daily dose of information from the tabloid. Even as you decide to give up carbs after struggling to wrap your head around Katrina’s abs in that song, you are hit by a piece about how India’s largest contingent is going to be at Rio.

This, of course, is a cause for celebration – which you promptly contribute to by sharing a video wishing the Indian Olympian hopefuls the best on social media. Then, you look up Rio and try as you may, those women shaking what their momma’s gave them is hard to ignore and the Olympics are long forgotten till someone enters the room and you have to minimise the window.

Our Olympians reach Rio and as an Indian fan, your primary concern is – do they find Indian food there. Vegetarian and Jain, if need be. You could possibly and quite generously offer theplas for them but them don’t seem keen. Okay, maybe only I did that. I was just thinking about the country, okay?

Sakshi Malik with the 58kg freestyle wrestling bronze medal. (Photo: Reuters)

But then you read about how our premier sports people don’t have any furniture in their village (aptly named) and you tut tut about that. Then, the Indian fan is greatly troubled by the time difference and puts up a status about how bummed he is about not being able to watch all the matches live. You end up watching some matches – like wrestling – where you often have no idea what the rules are but you just cheer the guy in blue on. After about 10 minutes, you realise the guy in blue is from Estonia and that your enthusiasm is misplaced. You promptly change channels and watch Simar deliver a spectacular performance as a housefly.

But over the past few days, there has been a slight change in the way we view our Olympics. Mainly because Sakshi Malik kicked some butt and got us our first medal. And that was our opportunity to rant violently against Shobha De.

But, P V Sindhu is taking to the badminton court today. This is after she ate her Japanese opponent how they eat their sushi, raw.

And I am sending her much, much love. Join me, won’t you?

(Mansi Shah is founder of the blog Damsel in Destress which reviews experiences as varied as spas, books and plays. Mansi is, by her own admission, “clueless” at 30 with an easy penchant for humour.)