Open Letter to My Friend Who Didn’t Do Well in CBSE Exam

I know you’re probably crest-fallen. Your parents certainly are. Here is why you should not be.

I know you’re probably crest-fallen.

(Photo Courtesy: Rhythum Seth/The Quint)

Dear Friend Who Did Not Do Too Well in CBSE,

I know you’re probably crest-fallen. Your parents certainly are. Somewhere along the line they decided that their happiness is subject to a report card with your name on it. But let me remind you – or tell you in case you do not know already – when you were born they were hardly thinking about that report card.

They were just happy they had created a thing with a heart beat and the capacity to receive all the love in the world. At that point they did not want you to cram pages worth of shit that nobody gives two shits about, vomit it out in neat handwriting, dotting your Is and crossing your Ts with a calligrapher’s consistency and score a 99.99999.

At that point they just wanted to love you and make you happy. But they messed up, they began to confuse knowledge with what your faces are shoved into in school, they began to confuse your marks with a promise of a better future. They forgot that future, regardless of how many 9s you may have on your marksheet, will still be uncertain, and that the only thing they can do anything about is your present. They messed up. You did too.

I know the topper's beaming face printed on the front page of the newspaper your father was grumpily reading this morning feels like a slap on yours. No, you don't mean her ill. But how can you be happy for her when every sentence your parents have said to you since the results came out is a direct/indirect reference to her, and it is almost always followed by a heart breaking, heavy sigh.

You don't feel you are good enough. And why would you? While the world excitedly celebrates a CBSE topper, they never celebrate a happy student, a creative child, a generous 17-year-old, an honest person or a sensitive soul. These traits, which actually define the essence of your being, and the nature of the interpersonal relationships you will go on to form and the life you are going to live, are of zero consequence to the papers and the public.

Maybe that is why most of us grow up to become twisted, unsatisfied adults constantly seething with self-righteous indignation or wallowing in self pity. In short: Adults who hate “adulting,” which is such a tragedy, because have you ever heard of a child who hates “childing?”

But hear me out, in 8 out of 10 situations, your class 10 marksheet will only serve as a Date of Birth record and your class 12 marksheet may or may not get you into the college of your choice, but it certainly will not define the quality of the life you live.

In my 3 years at Delhi University I have seen 99 percenters tumble into the back paper category and struggle to get their degree. It is not even their fault. The education system in our country is so flawed that it will never truly judge your calibre. It can lead a highly mediocre human to believe they are the cat's whiskers, and subsequently, crush them under the weight of their own unrealistic expectations.

I will always respect someone who stayed in the game even when the odds seemed to be against her. Even life always finds its own way of rewarding her. So don't give up on yourself just yet.

Read extensively, watch documentaries, meet new people, help all people, and you will know more about most things than your school topper, your district topper or your country topper. Experiment with your options and work hard. You will get there. You will get wherever you want.

For the love of God, don't pay too much heed to this feeling of inadequacy brimming in your chest right now. Also don't pay too much heed to that bua ji who looks too concerned about your marks but you know just as well as she does that she really just wants to feel better about her own wayward son.

Love,
Your bestie