I Survived An (Almost) Earthquake: You Won’t Be Impressed

The office was almost empty, the screen was blank when suddenly...Earthquake! Well, almost. Here’s what happened.

Empty office, blank screen and then EARTHQUAKE – perfect antidote to writer’s block. (Photo: iStockphotos)

At about 4 pm on 10 April, I was sipping hot water and staring at a blank computer screen, hoping some idea would pop up while I wondered if the wax in the paper cup would give me cancer.

The paper cup that could give me cancer, and the blank, blank screen. (Photo: Vikram Venkateswaran)

The Premonition and the Tummy Wiggle

I felt this subtle movement around my midriff, which I believed had nothing to do with its tryst with rajma chawal three hours ago. I trust my midriff and so realised there was only one logical explanation.

I asked in a rather unusual falsetto, ‘Are we having an earthquake?’

It was a polite question, which was worded quite nicely, I thought.

But then the entire floor began to shake. I stood up immediately from the office chair, reiterating with mild panic that ‘I was polite’. I had to stand up also because it felt odd wiggling uncontrollably in the seated posture, like I was trying to effect a hands-free wedgie-release manoeuvre.

Don’t judge. (Photo: Vikram Venkateswaran)

There were exactly ten people in the office, including yours truly. We were on the 8th floor of a 9-storied office building. Here are their percentage wise reactions.

(Infographic: Vikram Venkateswaran)

How to Stay Calm

(Or, how to completely lose it, so it looks like you’re calm)

I wondered what I must do and suddenly it dawned on me that, unlike with rabid dogs or a grizzly or a network marketing agent (not necessarily in that order), I couldn’t outrun an earthquake. I decided I would duck under one of the many office desks, if it came to that.

This realisation calmed me to such an extent that I continued to stand beside my chair and stare at the blank, blank screen. The office, by this time, was empty.

The many desks in the empty office (Photo: Vikram Venkateswaran)

Abject Disappointment

I thought I should record the earthquake, should my phone (and incidentally, myself) survive. And that’s when I was faced with abject disappointment. Here’s a sample video.

Look, I realize that a swaying bulb isn’t exactly awe-inspiring. But the truth is, the whole floor was Shaking like the Gareeb Rath in full throttle. It saddened me that I would be unable to convey this visually to the reader.

THIS Is What it Felt Like

(GIF Courtesy: Youtube/Hellzapoppin’-1941)

What I Learnt from My Experience

(Which made me feel good about myself)

Alone in the shaking building, I thought about taking a selfie. I resisted the idea, because I was embarrassed by the thought that the last thing I did on earth was to take a selfie. I showed hubris.

Five minutes later, the tremours subsided, and the remaining 90 percent of the staff returned. The earthquake was felt in Srinagar, Delhi and Noida. I saw a live feed of people running down the stairs and visuals of a road in Srinagar. The visuals were as banal as mine. I felt better.

Also, it finally gave me something to write about.

For actual information on the earthquake, you may want to read:
What to do when an earthquake strikes

Vikram Venkateswaran is a freelance writer, TV producer and media consultant. Headings, titles and captions are his kryptonite. He just moved to Chennai and hopes the city likes him and is nice to him.