Elon Musk, How Do We Charge Your Teslas in Power-Starved India?

In India, Elon Musk should start with e-rickshaw alternatives. Those plying in CP can give you a slipped disc.

Elon Musk wants to bring Tesla Electric Cars to India this summer. (Graphic: The Quint)

Dear Elon Musk, how’s it going bro?

I hope the efforts and retooling of your incredible robotic manufacturing plan are coming along for the upcoming production of your cheapest electric car – Model 3. You literally made us dizzy with a casual response to a tweet asking when will Tesla bring its electric cars to India. “Hoping for summer” you said! Is this for real?!

The Model 3 is Tesla’s most affordable car, which promises 215 miles (346 km) of range per charge and is priced upwards of $35,000 (Rs 23.8 lakh approximately).

Tesla Model 3 electric car. (Photo Courtesy: Tesla)

No offence, but your “sasti” Tesla Model 3 car is not going to be accessible for most Indians, courtesy our amazing 125% custom duty on imported cars. So a Rs 24 lakh car will likely cost us something like Rs 60 lakh.

Gif Courtesy: (GIPHY)

Accha chalo, if Model 3 even makes it to Indian shores, how on earth are we going to charge this electric car? India is a country where hundreds and millions of Indians don’t even have access to electricity, but don’t worry about them, because they are not even going to be within the touching distance of a Tesla car. You should be worried about the power outages in Mumbai, Delhi NCR and even our desi Silicon valley Bengaluru, though.

How exactly does one charge an electric car without reliable electricity? Or is Elon Musk banking on the diesel generators that will power his Superchargers to charge electric cars. Such jugaad. Much wow!

I know what you’re thinking Mr Modi, Mr Gadkari and Mr Piyush Goyal – everyone has promised you that India is all set to host you and give you a prime port location for a “Make In India” Gigafactory, where you can manufacture your high capacity batteries that store electricity for use in factories and homes. For the sake of your dreams, I hope they stick to their promise and you don’t experience our hypocrisy first hand.

(Gif Courtesy: GIPHY)

Don’t just bring an electric car to India Elon, make sure it paves smooth roads for itself, electrocutes randomly jaywalking pedestrians, cuddles stray cattle (because so holy!), jams the horns on all other cars and acts as a generator set for villages in its downtime.

Accha chalo, Tesla Model 3 India mein aa bhi gayi, what about Auto Pilot? How exactly are Model 3’s sensors going to pre-empt cows, pedestrians and senseless three-wheelers?

(Gif Courtesy: GIPHY)

Elon, don’t get me wrong bro... I love Tesla cars. When I sat in a Model S in San Francisco, I dreamt about it for weeks later. The sophistication of your software, the futuristic hardware and the combination of the ease of Superchargers installed all over the city make the ownership experience quite superlative and unprecedented.

In India, I think Elon Musk should start with electric rickshaw alternatives, the ones plying in CP can give any healthy person a lumbar slip disc and benefits few other than Mr Gadkari.

I absolutely want you to help the Indian government realise the “100% electric cars by 2030” mission. If anyone can do it with resolve, we can. But unfortunately, the haqeeqat of our country might be a speed-breaker in bringing your future wagons to India.