Wrestler Nisha Dahiya Wanted To Be the Son Dad Never Had. She's at Olympics Now.

Nisha Dahiya wasn't allowed to wear 'girly' clothes or apply mehendi. She's now applying for a Paris Olympics medal.

Paris Olympics 2024: Story of wrestler Nisha Dahiya.

(Photo: UWW/Altered by The Quint)

‘Mhaari choriyan choro se kam hai ke?’ (Are my daughters any inferior to sons?)

A dialogue that echoed powerfully eight years ago, challenging a society still grappling with its deep-rooted chauvinism.

Delivered by Aamir Khan in the film 'Dangal,' where he portrayed Mahavir Singh Phogat, the father and coach of the Phogat sisters, it struck a chord as he rebuked the notion that akhadas (wrestling arenas) were not meant for girls.

In a hypothetical scenario, should Bollywood ever show interest in portraying wrestler Nisha Dahiya’s story, the same dialogue could be deployed again.

For, Nisha’s father Ramesh Dahiya indeed wanted his daughter to be the son he never had.

In a conversation with The Quint prior to the commencement of her Paris Olympics 2024 journey on Monday (5 August), Nisha recalled:

I am my father’s second daughter, and my sister is 10 years older than me. He never had a son, so he wanted me to do all that a son would do for him. I was never allowed to wear ‘girly’ clothes, never allowed to grow my hair long. If I applied nail polish or mehendi, my father would get really angry. When I went to weddings, I was not allowed to wear those fancy dresses that the other girls wore. I used to just turn up like a boy. I learned how to bike when I was in the 6th standard! My feet would not even reach the ground, but my father wanted me to master the skills a boy would have. He even wanted me to learn horse riding.

Nisha Dahiya

Even before stepping into the akhada, Nisha was physically more potent than her peers.

His aim was to make me self-dependent from a very young age, so by the time I started my sporting career, I was already ahead of the curve as compared to other girls of my age.

Nisha Dahiya

Leaving Home for a Sports Hostel

Ramesh Dahiya always had a plan. He had realised and made peace with Nisha not being academically gifted. That would worry her mother, but not Ramesh, for he wanted his daughter to excel in sports.

I was in the 8th standard when my father took me to a sports hostel in Haryana’s Jind district. I was not a studious kid at all, I hated studies. Matlab bilkul hi naalayak thi (I was absolutely helpless in academics). Instead of studying, I spent my childhood doing tomfoolery and playing multiple sports. My mother used to chide me a lot. She would complain to my father that I was very ill-disciplined and would not be able to do anything in life if I didn’t mend my ways, but my father always retorted by saying I was meant for great things – If not in studies, then in sports.

Nisha Dahiya

Looking back at the initial days, she says:

My mother was worried. She thought I would not be able to cope up with the hostel life. To be honest, the first 6-7 months were indeed incredibly difficult. But soon, I got used to it.

Nisha Dahiya

While the dream was for Nisha to become a sportsperson, wrestling wasn't initially part of the plan. She even trained in basketball for a year before switching to wrestling, without even informing her parents.

My father knew that I had zero hopes in academics, so his dream was to see me excelling in sports – be it whatever. Initially, I chose to play basketball because it seemed a pretty cool sport to pursue. I trained for a year, but my roommates were wrestlers, so I used to accompany them to their training sessions. It happened quite randomly that I decided to give wrestling a try, and I did not even inform my parents. Only after completing a month of training did I reveal, and they were quite happy with my decision.

Nisha Dahiya

Within only a couple of months of embarking on the wrestling journey, Nisha became a fan of the sport.

It took me just two months to start loving wrestling. A part of it was because wrestling was the dominant sport at the hostel. There were plenty of girls, and training went on for long hours. So at that age, it felt cool to be a part of the big group. Aisa lagta tha jaise hum bade ho gaye ho (It felt as if I’d become an adult). Moreover, other sports required a lot of discipline, and as I mentioned, discipline was never my forte. Wrestling was more easy-going, so I loved it.

Nisha Dahiya

When Calamity Struck – Getting Suspended For Doping

Barring her father, friends have had a major influence on Nisha’s career.

Both in a positive way, for she would not have chosen this sport had she not been roommates with wrestlers, but also, in a negative way.

In 2014, I was selected to compete in my first Asian sub-juniors, and I won a bronze medal. That gave me a lot of confidence to stay on this path, because you do need medals to tell you that you can make it big. But then, calamity struck.

Nisha Dahiya

‘What calamity?’

She explains:

I was handed a suspension in 2017. I was very young, with no idea about NADA’s guidelines. These days you’ll see plenty of classes being organised to raise awareness of which substances are allowed and which are not, so even the juniors are also well-informed. But this was not the case back in my day. I saw a couple of my friends taking something and just thought of joining them. I did not know it would lead to a doping violation. Even when the tests were carried out, I had no clue what lay ahead. It was my first doping test so I was actually excited about it. I went there with full swagger. But to my surprise, I received a letter saying I was suspended, and that ruined two years of my career.

Nisha Dahiya

The Decision To Quit

With an uncertain future ahead, Nisha opted to walk away from the sport.

I could not fathom why I was suspended, what my fault was. It hurt me so bad that I decided to give up completely. I had no intentions of returning to wrestling. Firstly, I had no knowledge of their rules and regulations. And to add to that, I did not know for how long they would keep me suspended, so it felt as if there was no point in pursuing this sport anymore.

Nisha Dahiya

And Why Nisha Didn't Quit

Nisha’s career seemed to be over before it even began.

Or, that’s what she thought. Ramesh thought differently.

I returned to wrestling only because of my parents. They encouraged me by saying that I would make a comeback in wrestling, irrespective of how long I remain suspended, be it even 10 years. My father asked me to continue training and not think of anything else. So I kept practising, and the ban was eventually lifted in 2019.

Nisha Dahiya

Acknowledging her family’s contributions, Nisha adds:

I would not have been at the Olympics without the support of my family. I have had to endure plenty of hardships in my life – from injuries to lack of form and the doping suspension. I will be honest with you – at times, I felt that my father had spent so much on my career and saw me as his son, not as his daughter, but I am letting him down. Fortunately, whenever I was in a dark place, he told me to just focus on wrestling and not think of anything else. He kept on saying ‘Humara time aayega’ (Our time will come).

Nisha Dahiya

Time To Shine

Nisha’s time arrived in 2021, when she won a bronze medal at the U-23 World Wrestling Championships. A couple of years later, she clinched a bronze medal at the Asian Championships.

Finally, and perhaps, most importantly, the highly anticipated Olympics quota was secured earlier this year, at the World Qualifiers.

More than Nisha, her parents were ecstatic. Their persistance had finally paid dividends.

My parents were over the moon when I won the Olympics quota. I came close to qualifying for the Tokyo Olympics as well but lost my quota bout because of an injury. During this edition’s qualifiers, I did have my doubts but my parents never doubted my abilities. Ahead of the bouts, I would call my mother and tell her ‘Pata nahin kya hoga’ (I don’t know what will happen), and she would say ‘Sab sahi hoga’ (Everything will be alright). When I called my mother after qualifying, her reaction was like ‘Mereko to pata hi tha’ (I knew it already).

Nisha Dahiya

The Olympic Dream

Stuck at three currently, India’s dreams of surpassing Tokyo’s medal tally of 7 might hinge on the wrestlers’ performance. Nisha is determined to return from Paris without a medal.

I have worked hard – not just on my game, but also on studying the game of my possible opponents. My target from Paris is to return with a medal. Khaali haath to bilkul hi nahin lauta hain (I don’t want to return empty-handed). I am manifesting myself standing on the podium. I know it is not every day that you get to compete at a stage like the Olympics, so I want to give my best for my country.

Nisha Dahiya

She concludes with a note of gratitude to Reliance Foundation, for their support.

When I was young, I didn’t believe in sports science and stuff. I thought all of these mumbo jumbo are just fancy words and it has nothing to do with wrestling. But as I grew older and kept on having minor injuries, I understood the importance of having a nutritionist. I am thankful to the Reliance Foundation for helping me with sports science and nutrition.

Nisha Dahiya