Jurassic World is no Jurassic Park: A Fan Disses the Previews

The park is dead, long live the park | A disgruntled Jurassic Park fan is NOT impressed with Jurassic World’s preview

Chris Pratt, lead actor in Jurassic World, is seen riding alongside his trained raptors. (Courtesy: Jurassic World)

Okay. Another Jurassic Park. No, wait. Jurassic World. So the logo glows blue instead of red. I hate dissing a movie before it is released but the trailers and the TV spots, and yes I’ve seen all of them frame by frame, are pushing me to do this.

Somehow, I’m not impressed. The only thing that the new guys have in common with Spielberg is that sharks get killed. There are a lot of things Spielberg used to get right, making sharks expendable wasn’t one of them.

Still from the movie Jurassic World. (Courtesy: Jurassic World)

But let’s not digress. So we’ve got a new dinosaur. I don’t know if you see the irony in that statement. And it’s supposed to be intelligent. The raptors in the first one had problem-solving intelligence, but this Indominus Rex (and I have trouble keeping a straight face typing this) has Jedi skills. Really? Mind control, turning allegiances where trained raptors turn on the humans? And surgical training where she can cut out a surgically placed tracking sensor? That is one mean, clever dino. Monsters are dangerous and hard to beat simply ‘cos they are monstrous and brutish. If I wanted ‘clever’, I’d bring in Hannibal Lecter.

Bryce Dallas Howard in a still from the movie Jurassic World. (Courtesy: Jurassic World)

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of the first flick, and an even bigger fan of the book(s). But the whole idea of raptors shooting from their paddocks, racing alongside Mr. Pratt, I was laughing out loud when they showed the preview before Mad Max.

It might just be the best movie in the franchise, but the aura of a lost world, as sketchily imagined by John Hammond, is dead and buried. The Park is now open, but I’m not sure whether I’d really fancy going in there.

(Shakunt Saumitra is a lawyer by day and a pop culture junkie by night. He can quote every single dialogue in all the Star Wars movies and owns three copies of Michael Crichton’s Jurassic Park. He tweets under the handle @Gypsy_Lama)