Chennai Mother's Suicide Is a Reminder of How Harsh Society is to New Mothers

Societal expectations, scrutiny, criticism, and patriarchal conditioning can weigh heavily on a new mother.

New Mother in Chennai Dies By Suicide After Social Media Trolling.

(Photo: Chetan Bhakuni/The Quint)

(Trigger warning: Mentions of suicide)

(If you feel suicidal or know someone in distress, please reach out to them with kindness and call these numbers of local emergency services, helplines, and mental health NGOs.)

In the bustling vibrancy of Indian society, where tradition and modernity intertwine, the journey of motherhood is revered as a sacred passage.

Yet, beneath the surface of celebration, many new mothers tread a path fraught with emotional and psychological challenges, often magnified by societal pressures and unsolicited scrutiny.

A recent tragic event in Chennai brings this issue starkly to the forefront.

A new mother, already grappling with the immense responsibilities of parenthood, became the target of relentless online shaming following an unfortunate incident where her child narrowly escaped a dangerous fall.

The public condemnation was swift and brutal, leading to a devastating outcome – her suicide.

This incident not only highlights the vulnerabilities of new mothers but also serves as a critical reflection on the societal attitudes that can sometimes lead to severe mental health consequences.

The Chennai Incident: A Closer Look

The incident in Chennai that led to a mother's tragic suicide was marked by a horrifying sequence of events that began with a child's accidental fall from the fourth floor of a building.

The fall, captured on video, quickly went viral on social media, drawing widespread attention.

Miraculously, the child survived, but the mother found herself engulfed in a storm of public scrutiny and criticism.

Online commentators mercilessly attacked her parenting skills, accusing her of negligence, with many hiding behind the anonymity of the internet to deliver harsh judgements and derogatory remarks.

According to her family, this intense and unforgiving scrutiny along with the feeling of guilt that came with it exacerbated the mother's already vulnerable mental state, allegedly pushing her towards the heartbreaking decision to end her life.

This sequence of events underscores the lethal potential of cyberbullying and highlights the urgent need for a more compassionate approach towards individuals in distress, particularly new mothers facing the daunting challenges of parenthood amplified by postpartum psychological issues.

Psychological Effects of Public Scrutiny on New Mothers

The psychological impact of public scrutiny on new mothers can be profound and far-reaching.

New mothers often navigate the delicate balance of recovering from childbirth while adapting to the demands of motherhood. This period can trigger a spectrum of emotional responses, from overwhelming joy to profound anxiety and sadness.

Postpartum depression is a significant concern, manifesting symptoms like severe anxiety, excessive fatigue, and deep-seated sadness. These symptoms can be exacerbated by the pressures of public scrutiny and societal expectations.

When the general public, influenced by traditional norms and the pervasive reach of social media, imposes unrealistic expectations on mothers, the effects can be detrimental. Criticism from extended family, friends, and even strangers online can intensify feelings of inadequacy and failure.

The fact also remains that society expects less from fathers than mothers due to deep-seated patriarchal conditioning. Mothers are held more accountable to a child's well-being than fathers; in other words, the act of parenting puts a disproportionate amount of pressure on mothers.

Such dynamics are not only distressing but can impede the mother's emotional and psychological ability to bond with her baby. This bonding is crucial for the child's emotional development and the mother's psychological well-being.

Research underscores the negative impact of societal pressures on new mothers.

A study published in the 'Journal of Affective Disorders' reports that social support – or the lack thereof – significantly influences the severity and duration of postpartum depression.

Mothers facing criticism instead of support often show longer durations of depressive symptoms.

The stigma that still surrounds mental health issues, especially those related to postpartum changes, complicates this further. Many mothers hesitate to seek help due to fear of judgement or misunderstanding, perpetuating a cycle of suffering and silence.

This stigma, combined with the fear of being judged as an inadequate parent, creates a debilitating environment for those who desperately need support and understanding.

The consequences of such environments can extend beyond the immediate postpartum period, potentially leading to long-term psychological issues if not addressed promptly and with compassion.

Support and Measures Needed

To combat these issues, several measures need to be implemented:

• Educating Society

There needs to be widespread education about the realities of postpartum mental health.

Awareness campaigns can help destigmatise mental health struggles related to motherhood, making it easier for mothers to seek help without fear of judgement.

• Robust Support Systems

Healthcare providers should offer comprehensive postpartum care that includes mental health screenings and referrals to counseling when necessary.

Regular check-ins by trained professionals can help identify and address mental health issues early.

• Community and Peer Support

Creating community support groups where new mothers can share their experiences and challenges can be invaluable. These groups can provide a sense of belonging and collective wisdom, reducing feelings of isolation and stress.

• Family Education

Partners and family members should be educated about the signs of postpartum depression and other mental health issues.

This knowledge can foster a more supportive home environment and encourage prompt professional intervention when needed.

• Legal and Policy Support

On a policy level, governments should ensure that new mothers have access to adequate maternity leave, childcare facilities, and legal protections that allow them to return to work without fear of discrimination.

The tragic incident in Chennai is a stark reminder of the urgent need for change in how society views and supports new mothers.

By understanding and addressing the psychological challenges of new motherhood, we can create a healthier, more supportive environment for mothers. Everyone from family members to policymakers must play a role in supporting new mothers, helping to safeguard their mental health and, by extension, the well-being of their children.

It's not just about providing medical care but about nurturing a community that respects, supports, and uplifts new mothers during one of the most challenging yet beautiful phases of their lives.

(Divya Naik is a Mumbai-based psychotherapist, writer, and media professional. She is passionate about women's mental health, especially perinatal and post-natal mental health, and works closely with a community of therapists in the network to build on the same.)