Boris & BREXIT: Why My Friend’s Bath Tub is Full of Toilet Rolls

In a scenario of a no-deal Brexit, we could be stealing or quarrelling over toilet rolls in an understaffed store.

When the UK voted in the EU referendum, most voters were not told what Brexit entailed.

Photo Courtesy: Amazon.com 

When the UK voted in the EU referendum, most voters were not told what Brexit entailed.

“Weep for Britain. A sick, cynical brutal and horribly dangerous coup d’etat. Children playing with matches, but spitefully not accidentally: gleefully torching an ancient democracy and any tattered shreds of reputation or standing our poor country had left.” This tweet from Stephen Fry came after the prorogation of Parliament, but could be used for many current democracies.

The Churn of Democracy

We have to understand democracies, the world over are going through a churn, of a kind, individually different, be it the UK, USA, Italy or India, to name a few. Many of us believed UK to have the most stable democracy, until now when we find ourselves in a democratic crisis with the prorogation of Parliament. All this in the race for who does best with Brexit, and a no-deal Brexit would please the 48 percent of the population ( including a large chunk of desi-origin voters, surprise, surprise!) who voted LEAVE in 2016.

At least that is what the likes of Nigel Farage (Brexit Party), and Boris Johnson’s clique of Tories believe, though most voters were not told what Brexit entailed.

Health unions have warned that a no-deal Brexit could devastate the NHS and cause fatal medicine shortages, arguing “no responsible government should take that risk”.

Like the US’s Trump or Italy’s Salvini, Johnson enjoys the politics of populism and personality and hits out at the elite, even though he is a part of it. Populists can come with all kinds of ideological affiliations. Many, especially in Europe are far-right. But they all claim they are fighting systems and thereby stand alone and for the people and manage to turn against long-standing democratic traditions, like Boris did with the prorogation.

Boris, the Liberal, Needs to Save Us!

But our Boris is different, in a way, in that he maintains a liberal image on many social issues and immigration. He also manages to keep most people confused. He says the UK is likely to get a Brexit deal at one point, the next he screams for a no-deal Brexit. It’s definitely keeping the Opposition and also some Tories burning the midnight lamp and citizens taking to the streets including Brexiteers protesting hoarse, in an effort to prevent a no-deal Brexit.

Whether Johnson’s ultimatum of a no-deal Brexit can force the EU to renegotiate, is too difficult to predict. Even Trump, whose love for Boris is more than obvious, has doubts because he has realised EU is a ‘tough negotiator.’

But us poor citizens have concerns of a different kind, as leaked government documents (Operation Yellowhammer) and Trump’s interest in having a stake in the NHS, our national treasure. Although, the NHS is now down a slippery slope despite Boris’ promise of the millions of pounds we would suddenly have in spare to invest in it once we left the EU.

Trump’s keen interest in us leaving the EU is a worry. Looks like we will be fed chlorinated chicken soon. He already wants to buy Greenland. After Brexit, when Britain struggles, he may want to buy this island too. After all, he is already eyeing the NHS.

Britain Needs to Stock Toilet Rolls

The fear of food and medicine shortages are driving people to already start hoarding. I have been told by several friends to start stocking toilet rolls, which will be in short supply after October 31 if there is a no-deal Brexit, and they are already filling up their bathtubs with it, while using only the walk-in shower–that’s called getting ready for Brexit! My consolation is that I know where I can borrow from if there is such a shortage.

We have brought it upon ourselves.

On a more serious note, health unions have warned that a no-deal Brexit could devastate the NHS and cause fatal medicine shortages, arguing “no responsible government should take that risk”. They claim it could disrupt the supply of life-saving medicines for up to six months and exacerbate the largest staffing crisis in NHS history. The onset of the crisis is pretty severe already. There is a severe shortage of doctors and other NHS staff, thanks to the Brexit scare. I have friends with hypertension who are already facing a shortage of some of their medicines. And Brexit is yet to happen.

Fresh food will also be in short supply, so people are stocking up on pastas etc. Us desis can manage with daal-chaval. It feels like wartime implications in peacetime and ‘all of them self-inflicted’.

It brings back memories of the aftermath of the Bhopal Gas tragedy (I was a kid in Bhopal then), when we had to survive on lentils and rice and no fresh food for about three months because of the contamination-caused catastrophe.

Here, it’s another story. We have brought it upon ourselves. First the Brexit referendum where no one knew the implications of it all, then the unpreparedness. As a result, we now face the bungle of about 85 percent of lorries using the Channel that are not ready for French customs, adding to that is expected fuel shortage and passenger delays at EU airports, to mention a few.

So people in other democracies who are concerned about the upheaval they notice in their countries, spare a thought for us Brits. In a scenario of a no-deal Brexit, we could be stealing or quarrelling over toilet rolls and bottled water at a superstore queue or be forced to eat chlorinated chicken or antibiotics-pumped meat, which the US may magnanimously trade with us.

(Nabanita Sircar is a senior journalist based in London. She tweets at @sircarnabanita. This is an opinion piece and the views expressed above are the author’s own. The Quint neither endorses nor is responsible for the same)